


Scenes From The Cutting Room Floor.

by palegingerade



Category: The Young Ones (TV 1982)
Genre: Angst, Arguing, Canon-Typical Violence, Comfort Sex, Crossdressing, Crossdressing Kink, Denial, Dialogue Heavy, Dream Sex, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, First Kiss, Flashbacks, Fluff, Grief/Mourning, Hand Jobs, Hate Sex, Hate to Love, Holding Hands, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Mpreg, Intense Orgasms, Internal Conflict, M/M, Morning After, Morning Sex, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn with Feelings, Power Play, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Recreational Drug Use, Secret Relationship, Sex Toys, Sexual Tension, Wet Dream, mike's POV
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-15
Updated: 2018-02-03
Packaged: 2018-04-26 12:23:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 35,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5004691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/palegingerade/pseuds/palegingerade
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of drabbles, conversations, extras and outtakes from what might have been...</p><p> In no particular timeline of order. Some set before my first fic so pre-relationship. Some set during others of mine, and some set in or around an actual episode - see individual chapter for notes.</p><p> <br/>Rated Explicit coz there will be smut! Those chapters will be tagged with a *<br/> <br/> The one with all the different little ones...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Cake.

**Author's Note:**

> A little scene set somewhere during Stud as the boys prepare for Rick's birthday..

Vyvyan hardly ever helps out in the kitchen.

Domestic chores are simply that, he thinks, and there's no need to stoop so low. 

Not when Neil's in the house.

All of that nonsense is his job anyway, and Vyvyan prefers to sit at the table and wait. He spends most afternoons reading and waiting for Rick to arrive home from college, occasionally glancing through the chaos of crockery as Neil's hands wizz about by the stove. 

Today was no different.

"Neil, WHERE'S MY DINNER!" He yells, his empty stomach rumbling and interrupting the peace. It really is quiet without Rick in the room, and he can't decide whether he likes it or not.

"..not making your dinner actually.."

"Then what are you ma.."

_BOOM!_

"Vyvyan.. fetch something! Quick!"

He stirs from Rick's comic book just in time to see the large gust of flames burst away from the oven and lick out at the lengths of Neil's hair.

"Oh. Yeah. Right. Like what?" He tuts, standing and filling a small spoon with water, flinging the contents in Neil's vague direction and not caring too much if his latest culinary disaster burned the house and it's entire contents to the ground. It was a dump anyway and without Rick being home there was hardly anything in it worth saving.

It would also be a whole lot more entertaining if remnants of Rick's birthday cake weren't laying in hissing charred lumps on the carpet by his feet.

"Y'know he's gonna kill you for this, don't you Neil?" He sighs, preparing to take charge as usual and come to Rick's rescue. "That's it, you just carry on using your head to put the fire out and leave the rest to me. I'll handle this!"

"I can't handle this!"

He can't understand why Neil moans so much, doesn't know what all the fuss is about. "This actually IS a piece of cake after all," he grins, the breakneck speed of the whisk in his hand quickly beating another bowlful into submission, "bloody, amateur!"

Vyvyan hardly ever helps out in the kitchen. But it isn't because he doesn't know how.

Rick's cake is perfect, he notes, a perfect carefully iced masterpiece, so he ignores the mess around the both of them for a moment to stand back and admire it. And anyone who breathes so much as a single word of this to Rick would get the full force of his every last crumb in their face!


	2. Note to self.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rick can't sleep, Vyvyan is making far to much racket in his bedroom and he can't concentrate on anything but his bloody snoring! He's so angry that he writes him a very strong letter, but realises by the end that he can never give it to him.
> 
> (Pre - relationship FLUFF!)

To whomever may be reading this, (stop being so nosy, Neil! It's clearly addressed to Vyvyan even though he so obviously can't be bothered to take any responsibility for anything. Pin this back on his bedroom door immediately, you stupid hippy! And mind your own ruddy business!)

Anyway, VYVYAN!

I'm writing you this note because it's 12:42 in the morning, I'm bored and awake and I can't sleep at all coz all I can hear through my bedroom wall is you. You and all your disgusting snoring and heavy breathing and whatever else it is that you might be doing in bed! The fact that you make so much racket so close to where I sleep is far too distracting, and quite frankly I think it's ruddy inconsiderate of you!

I've obviously had far too much to drink to be thinking about you in your bed in the first place! (I had almost an entire cup of cider tonight! Ha! And you say I'm not very anarchic!) But I think it's probably more to do with the fact that my head is still splitting from your spectacularly accurate throw of that dinner plate!

It's probably still bleeding, and I'm probably going to have brain damage, not that you care.

Bastard!

I've been awake for 3 hours now, thinking exactly how to plot my revenge: boarding you up in your bedroom while you're sleeping, perhaps? Letting your tyres down in the morning with the safety pins on my jacket? Putting so much salt in your coffee that you violently puke in your cornflakes? (Ha - brilliant! Must try that on Neil sometime.) But the longer I'm awake the less I want to do any of these things to you, even though you are without a doubt - THE MOST ANNOYING PERSON ON THE PLANET! 

You'd better be reading this properly, Vyvyan, and make sure you pay attention, alright? Coz I've just about had enough of your behaviour towards me lately, young man!

Sometimes I think there's more to you than that. Much more besides all the psychotic violence and cruelty. More behind your stupidly beautiful eyes and the forced scowl you wear, and sometimes I think there's more behind your anger towards me.

Sometimes.

Something so much deeper and way more profound than you allow the rest of the world to see.

Sometimes I think your jokes are quite funny, and that if you were to spend less time lashing out and we both actually bother to have an adult conversation instead of beating the living daylights out of each other for absolutely no reason at all, then sometimes I think we'd get along famously, and we'd eventually become pretty great friends.

I know it was you that set fire to my clothes yesterday when I put them on the radiator to dry. You blamed it on the exploding toaster, but I know the truth. I knew it was you all along coz I know how much you hate them. I know it was you that laughed when I had gaping holes in the knees of my dungarees. I know it was your laugh and not Mike's as I stood to put out the fire.

I know it was you because I know your laugh. 

It lights up the room.

You should do it more often.

I know it was you that used up all my toothpaste and replaced the rest of the tube with superglue! I know how much I annoy you sometimes and I know you need me to shut up and leave you alone but it's difficult.

I know it was you that tipped itching powder in my underwear drawer, tied me to the bed wearing nothing but my favourite ones and told the rest of the house to stay well clear. I know you thought it was a brilliant idea to drink a bottle of vodka and pretend to look after me while you stole from my piggy bank and drew moustaches on all my Cliff Richard posters. I know you probably meant well but I've still got a rash on my bottom and you really weren't much of a doctor! 

I know you didn't tie my hands to the headboard so tight that it hurt me this time, and I know that you know that I liked it. 

But you don't have a clue how much I fancy you.

I hear your bedsprings squeak as you turn over and face me, and I hear you bang on the wall with your fists. You probably want me to turn off my music, but I don't care. It's your bloody fault I can't sleep!

It's raining really loudly on my window now.

You swear and get out of bed and I hear you slam yours shut with such a thump that it knocks all my Sociology books on the floor. 

You call me a swot for reading them all the time, but I know you do college work too. You think I don't know that, but I do. You're far more intelligent than you'd have us believe. Mike and Neil might be fooled with the slump and shrug of your shoulders, but I'm not. Not at all.

I know you.

Your stupid first aid kit is still open on my desk and I know that you didn't really need to perform CPR on me for class like you said you did. I know you already knew how to do it, I could tell by the way you unfastened my shirt, placed your hands on my chest and pressed right over my heart.

I hate the fact that your lips have been on somebody elses before mine.

I let you practice on me anyway for as long as you wanted, even though you laughed at my racing pulse, called me a poof and kicked me in the shins afterwards. I still let you win that fight. I always do.

I'd let you do anything. 

You get back in bed and I hear you breathing. Somehow just knowing you're so close makes me smile. 

I'm probably not going to give you this note after all, Vyv. I don't think you'd appreciate something so soppy and I've already got enough bruises from you to last a lifetime.

Writing down the way I feel has always been easier.

Someday I bet I'll be a famous poet or something - a revolutionary. That would be amazing!

Maybe I'll be brave enough to tell you this then?

I love the way you look at me sometimes. 

When you pin me to the floor and kneel ontop of me it makes me so dizzy I can't breathe, and I wish you'd do that everyday, even if you sneer an insult in my face as your punch or slap connects and I cry.

You always make me cry.

I really hate you sometimes!

I've wanted to kiss you for years. Literally. _Years.. ___

Yours, actually, if you'd even bother to notice,

Rick. X 


	3. Just a slip of the tongue*

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things not to say to your housemates in front of your extremely secret, sexy... boyfriend?
> 
> Set about a week since they first sleep together. Rick let's something slip, and Vyvyan makes him pay.
> 
> * for explicit content.

"Neil?"

"No thank you, Vyvyan. It gives you cancer, everyone knows that."

"Rick?"

"Rick...?"

"RICK?"

"What?!"

"Do you want any bastard sugar or don't you?!"

"Shh, I'm talking on the telephone!"

"Well answer the question!"

"No, Vyvyan I do not want any sugar, I'm fine with just milk thanks, love."

_Love?!_

_Shit!_

Rick cringed, knowing the very second he'd said it, it was too late to take back. Vyvyan didn't say another word. He simply slammed the kettle on the counter, stormed past him in the hall and up the stairs in twos, without so much as a glance in his direction, a dissapproving scowl, or a very expected and thoroughly deserved punch in the face, his bedroom door slamming so loudly Rick knew it had probably smashed from it's hinges. The deafening echo was still ringing in his ears long after the roars of hysterical laughter from his two other housemates had stopped. 

"Bloody hell, Rick! There's no need to go that far! Now he'll never volunteer to make the tea again."

"Shhh, Mike, I'm on the ruddy telephone!"

"What do you mean AGAIN? He only agreed to it in the first place coz I owed him 20 quid and I got him a good deal at the off licence. Now you've probably scarred him for the rest of his life, Rick." Neil grinned, Mike just giggled, Rick had heard enough.

"Oh just, SHUT UP YOU BASTARDS ..no not you, mum! I've got to go. Yes I will. YES! You too, goodbye.." Rick hung up the phone and hid his head in his hands. "Oh this is just brilliant! I do not believe this! This is all I ruddy well need right now!" 

He knew the others were well within their rights to tease him. He and Vyvyan had only been...sleeping together?...for little over a week. No one else knew about it and he'd only just recovered from the horrendously mortifying, 'are we actually, really actually in an actual relationship then..?' unpleasantness from yesterday. They still shared a bed and still had sex last night; very hard and angry sex, but Vyvyan hadn't really spoken to him since. This really wasn't a good move.

He'd probably blown everything thanks to his stupid bloody slip of the tongue!

"I didn't mean to say it to him," Rick continued, blushing and trying desperately to cover his tracks, "my mum said it to me, and, oh for Cliffs sake stop looking at me like that! I obviously didn't mean it, I so obviously do not love Vyvyan, I hate the bloody stupid bastard! I need to go and explain.."

"Well, good luck with that, Rick. Vyvyan's not exactly the rational conversation type, is he?" Mike glanced up from the table, still grinning widely as Rick started for the stairs, "If you want my advice?" He sighed.

"..alright."

"Choose your words carefully, eh babes? Oh and no sugar for me thanks, Neil. I'm sweet enough, sweetheart."

"Bastards!" 

Rick raced up the stairs, still red-faced and massively cringing with his fingers in his ears to drown out both of his so-called 'friends.' He didn't have a clue how he was supposed to talk himself out of this one. This would take some pretty serious grovelling.

"Vyv?" He knocked on Vyvyan's bedroom door, which was thankfully still intact. "Vyvyan?"

_Silence_

"Why's the door locked? Look, this is stupid. Let me in.."

_Silence_

"I'm sorry. It was an accident. I didn't mean it. I was on the phone to my mum and she said it, and I.. I didn't mean it, Vyv, honest! I'll never say it again, I swear. Please just open up and let me in, I'll do anything.."

The door handle flew out of his grasp and Vyvyan was stood in front of him in a flash, completely and utterly stark bollock NAKED.

"Will you really?"

"W-what are you doing?"

"Waiting for you. You ought to know better not to let your mouth run away with you like that. Obviously I didn't make enough of a point last night. Y'know, it's almost as if you wind me up on purpose."

"I-I don't, I didn't. I..."

Vyvyan grinned, shoving the palm of his hand over Ricks stammering mouth. "Shh! This is our secret, remember?" Rick nodded. "Good. Now do you really mean you'll do anything?"

Rick stared, nodded, gasped, his pulse racing way ahead of him at Vyvyans wicked grin. "Uhhuh. Anything. I'll do whatever you want: all your homework for a month? Take your clothes to the laundrette for the rest of the year? Be your slave for the rest of your life? Anything. Just please don't tell me I've ruined this! Please don't be angry with me.."

"I'm not angry. But if you do insist on being so disgustingly vile then I think that rediculously soppy mouth of yours needs to be taught a valuable lesson. Get in!" Vyvyan grabbed Rick by the collar of his shirt, lifting him off his feet as he pulled him into his bedroom. "I want you to repeat after me, okay?" Rick nodded again. That was all he was capable of. Vyvyans mouth was on his before he could object - not that he wanted to - and his shirt was literally being ripped from his back. "I'm sorry I'm such an annoying git..."

"But.."

"I don't think I told you to say that, did I?" Rick was yanked back into a bruising kiss, his bottom lip bit so hard he yelped in Vyvyans mouth, the fire in his stomach already so dizzying he wished Vyvyan would just hurry up and strip him naked too, even if he was tearing holes in the front of his favourite trousers.

"I'm sorry I'm such an annoying git." He repeated.

"Better," Vyvyan grinned, his hands ripping the shreds of Rick's shirt hurriedly down both arms, "and I solemnly promise I'll stop being such a girlie bastard and respect my amazing boyfriend when we're in front of the others, or I'll have to face the punishing consequences of my actions."

"Boyfriend?!" 

"Problem?"

"N-no.."

"Good."

Vyvyan sternly cleared his throat. The way he glared through his grin made Rick's knees hollow but he repeated him word for word, equally relieved he was finally out of his clothes and that Vyvyan had actually said it. "So I haven't ruined this? You forgive me? We're okay aren't we, Vyv? Just tell me were okay.."

"Oh I think you've said more than enough, as usual. Shut up." Vyvyan tugged Rick's head towards him and kissed him again."But I also think I'd have a much better chance of truly forgiving you if you were down on your knees. Just to be on the safe side..."

***

Rick wasn't talking anymore. He couldn't. His mouth was being put to a much better use.

"Oh christ! Jesus christ, Rick!" Vyvyan panted hard at the ceiling, his voice straining taut as his grip tightened firmly in each of Rick's braids. "You're most definitely forgiven. Don't stop! Don't you dare stop this time!" His back pressed against the headboard, his strong legs spread wide, one knee curled over a bare slender shoulder as the tip of his cock bumped the back of Rick's throat. 

"God! Oh. My. God!"

He's stopped giving a damn that he ends up moaning his name each time Rick's tongue slides over every soaking wet inch. He's not bothered how desperate he sounds, or if Rick is so new to this and still so unsure, god knows he's plenty good enough and with a bit more practise he knew he'd be fucking incredible. There's just something about this time, about him, about Rick's mouth in particular, that makes Vyvyan think he could never get enough.

Something in the tone of Vyvyans voice, the shuddering hits of desperation, drives Rick crazy with desire and he already knows he'd never get bored of hearing it. Listening to that softened angry voice weakening like this is one of the most erotic things he's ever heard. He moves a little faster, slips his hand around the thickness and sucks. His knees are sore from the bare floorboards but are now settled comfortably in the mattress, yet he wonders how much more his sexy boyfriend can take. 

_Boyfriend!_

He chokes down an imminent smile and carries on, now isn't the time to be thinking about that, but _oh god yeah_ he really likes the sound of it.

"Please, urgh, god, please!"

"What?" Rick teased, his tongue flicking lazily as Vyvyan impatiently arched up and back into his mouth.

"Please make me come. I can't stand it, christ, Rick, I'm gonna explode!"

Vyvyan struggles in Ricks hands, his eyes scrunching tight, breath huffing ragged in the air as Rick drew his eager tongue slowly from root to tip. "Okay. Whatever you want, love."

Vyvyan hears it but he can't move. He's barely capable of breathing as soon as Rick's mouth sinks back down and tight warmth surrounds his cock. Rick does as he asks; makes him come especially hard, his back arching, teeth gritted and hands limp in his hair, moaning with every sharp pulse of his inevitable release.

"Fuck! Oh _fuck!_ "

Rick hums, presses his lips down even further, and swallows. There's a tension of thigh muscles over his shoulder, shouts that echo in his head, broken moans in time with the rhythmic hot splatter on the back of his tongue as he swallows again and takes his mouth up and off. He trails the tip of his dripping tongue over Vyvyan's skin, feeling the heat and the quake on his lips as he lies ontop and nuzzles into his neck. "So? Not bad for a beginner, I must say. You forgive me now, Vyv?"

Vyvyan holds him close, still panting, his face glowing and sweaty against the soft heat of Rick's cheek. "Yeah, just this once. Watch your mouth next time. You soppy bastard!"


	4. The Bet...continued. (Chapter 5.5) **

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thought I'd revisit this fic one last time coz it's a bit of a favourite of mine. 
> 
> If you haven't read The Bet before then never fear...
> 
> Rick and Vyv have a bet with each other that they each can't last a week without sex. Various consequences apply but they're so determined to make the other give in that it's starting to have strange effects on them both.  
> There's a tiny bit of back story (mostly just porn) but I think this can hopefully be read alone too.
> 
> Set between chapters 5 and 6, where I thought Vyvyan needed a bit of a struggle of his own.
> 
> Rick isn't the only one who has all the fun...  
> But to Vyvyan this doesn't really count coz he can't remember it and it is only a dream...  
> Isn't it?
> 
>  
> 
> **Warning tags for HEAVY SMUT! and the use of sex toys, and general filth, established relationship, pwp, intense orgasms, and my usual sprinkle of fluff.**

"It's getting late. Time for bed, Vyvyan."

"No it bloody isn't!"

"Oh okay then. Nighty night."

Vyvyan tutted at the sarcastic voice as it echoed up the staircase. He still didn't take his eyes off the television set even though he wasn't really sure what the hell he was pretending to watch any more. It didn't matter. Whatever programme this was he'd faked being so engrossed in was still so much better than going to bed with Rick. And hopefully that would be the only time he would ever have to think that again.

He held up his hand, offering his usual two-fingered salute as the sound of Rick's footsteps faded too. This stupid bet was getting way beyond a joke now. There was still two days to go until the end of the week and Vyvyan doesn't know if he can stand another second of what has quickly morphed into such a painfully desperate frustration.

"Yeah, whatever. Teasing bastard." 

Vyvyan grumbled, barely making a sound so his disgruntled words went unheard. All he needed after the way his body had just horrendously betrayed him was for Rick to get any more of a self-assured chip on his shoulder. Rick shouldn't even be imagining that somehow he'd managed to swipe the upper hand.

Because it wasn't true!

Being around him was already unbarable enough without the temptation of wiping that smug grin off his stupidly perfect face.

Vyvyan couldn't help but smile too as he scrubbed into his tired eyes. Both his cheeks were still burning feverishly. He hadn't meant to blush this red - or be this blatently aroused over such a brief kiss. 

It was only a kiss on the cheek for Christ sake! It wasn't as if Rick had sat with his hand in his pants all night like he had done when they'd been playing Monopoly. 

Fuck, that was so sexy even the thought was making him hard again. He didn't think Rick had it in him to fight that dirty even though the lights were out. 

Uh, thank god the lights were out!

Forfeiting this bet and pinning Rick to the floor over their piles of cheated Monopoly money probably wouldn't have been the best thing to do in front of the others, although it would have been by candlelight so Rick would have liked it, the soppy git that he was! 

No. Rick would have loved it. He would have made damn sure of that! He would have stripped him naked, pulled out all his best moves and he wouldn't have stopped until he was totally exhausted and Rick was finally satisfied. 

Rick had proved his point- and he had really learned his lesson; no matter the outcome, after this experiment was over he was was never going to turn Rick down again. 

Vyvyan thinks about putting on some loud music, maybe getting another beer from the fridge? He thinks about anything he possibly can to take his mind off the one thing he isn''t allowed to have, but it's no use, nothing turns him off.

There's just something in Rick's last goodnight kiss that Vyvyan finds irresistible: the slight brush of starving lips, the submissive judder of need in that unmistakable pleading sigh that makes him once again as hard as a rock.

And when Vyvyan wipes his clammy cheek with his thumb he can still feel it.

"For fuck's sake! Get ahold of yourself!"

He quickly throws the wheel of his lighter over the knee of his jeans and lights a cigarette, inhaling hard and taking big heaving drags to try and calm himself down. He couldn't hurt Rick anymore- not seriously anyway, but he couldn't bring himself to snog him back either, and they're the only two ways each of them knew how to communicate with the other before bed.

Looking back there was nothing quite like a bruising bout of mindless violence to truly round the day off, and over the past two months- nothing that really hit the spot and sent him off to sleep like the release that came with a particularly vigorous shag.

And there are still two whole days until Vyvyan can do that again..

Hopefully tomorrow he'll make Rick lose once and for all- make him give in and beg, or at the very least make him this hot and horny so he was the one who needed to stand in a freezing cold shower wanking himself dry.

God, he was so hard now even that was appealing.

The rest of the cigarette is inhaled in seconds and Vyvyan pulls off his tshirt and unfolds Neil's hessian sleeping bag out on the sofa. It feels cold and it itches but it's not too uncomfortable, and right now he would rather sleep out in the street than lie in bed next to his disgustingly sexy boyfriend. 

This isn't all bad.

He closes his eyes and tries to forget about Rick - who is probably sprawled out all naked and gorgeous in his bed right now waiting for him..

No! This isn't all bad, he thinks again, wrapping the sleeping bag around each of his shoulders. He's clearly overreacting. It's Friday tomorrow and so far he's sailed through most of this week with ease.

Except for tonight. 

Tonight was difficult.

Really difficult.

Vyvyvan sighed. Not being with Rick makes his heart physically ache but strangely he's starting to enjoy it. Rick could have all the fun he wanted for the next 48 measly hours because Vyvyan knows this drought isn't forever. One week without him is nothing compared to all the time still to come in their future.

Vyvyan had never given his future much thought before- there was never really any point- but if he'd learned only one thing this week it was now he knew he definitely wanted Rick to be in it. He grinned. He should probably tell him that at some point. Sunday morning when this sex ban is lifted and Rick is all over him in bed perhaps?

If Rick was going to be all over him in bed?!

Rick would definitely be all over him in bed.

And then god-bloody-well help him!

When Vyvyan wakes from a somewhat fitful snooze it's freezing cold on the sofa. Something that feels like a loosely coiled spring is jabbing through his jeans on his hip and enough is finally enough. Rick would be fast asleep anyway in his great big comfortable bed and like it or lump it he would have to deal with the consequences of sharing.

He peels back the sheets and slips in by his side, not bothering to sneak so much as a glance in his direction as he turns away from the warmth of his outstretched limbs and shuffles to the very edge of the mattress. He had thought about literally kicking the anarchist out of bed as he took off his boots and slung his jeans in the corner, but that would no doubt wake him and his own dormant pulse that he'd only just learnt to control. 

Rick would definitely win the prize for control. He was way too stubborn and when it came to this little battle of willpower, Vyvyan was starting to come to terms with the fact that- like most things concerning Rick- he was totally and utterly defenceless. 

_God, I want you so fucking much!_

"What?"

Vyvyan tensed as Rick stirred and snuggled deeper into his back.

Did he really just say that out loud? 

He was pretty sure he didn't but so much of what was in his head no longer make sense any more. He wasn't supposed to lose anything, especially to Rick. He wasn't supposed to be having feelings this intense for anyone. And he certainly wasn't supposed to be being this bloody soppy about it...

"Mmm, you said something?"

A soft hand sneaked into his pyjama top, a gentle warmth vibrated on the back of his neck with each breath Rick breathed out on his skin and _oh god_ it felt good.

"No I didn't. Go to sleep."

"I think you did. I was dreaming you'd say that. I dream about you a lot y'know.."

"Tell me later!" Vyvyan interrupts, scrunching his eyes up so tight he sees blood.

"You want me, Vyvyan." 

It isn't a question but he answers it anyway. "No I don't!"

"I think you do."

"Well I don't care what you think!"

Vyvyan allowed the arm to remain draped over his and the soft girlish fingers to run down his suddenly bared chest but he should probably stop there. He shouldn't be allowing Rick to lick and suck on his neck like this, the hand to skim down the elastic of his pants or the bluntness of Rick's erection to press right in his thigh as he writhes so pathetically against it. 

_Oh christ!_

"Mmm, thought so. You want this."

It had been a while but even through the thick material of Rick's yellow dungarees his hard-on is obvious and _god yes_ Vyvyan wants it. In this much of a worked up state he doesn't care if he's about to do the unthinkable and beg Rick for sex. He's that desperate he wouldn't last long enough to do anything else if Rick lost now anyway..

Wait a minute, yellow dungarees?!

"Why are you wearing all your clothes to bed?"

"Shh! Not now. Just relax. I only want to kiss you, Vyv. That's all."

Vyvyan is promptly rolled onto his back and all at once everything he's craved is all over him everywhere: Rick's hands on his hips, his tongue in his mouth, his hot breath in his ear as his tongue lazily rolled around it. 

"I want you too. Here, feel.." 

His hair is pulled tight as Rick scrambled onto his lap, his eyes so dark and filthy Vyvyan's breath sticks in his throat. Rick takes his hand and holds it over the hot tented bulge in the strangely attractive tight denim. He secretly loves Rick wearing these dungarees, but Rick couldn't possibly have known that! 

"Let's just do it, eh? Just this once. It'd be so hot like this. Our dirty little secret. We can start over tomorrow and forget this ever happened." 

Rick rubs him through the front of his pants at the same time, and its all Vyvyan can do not to come square in the palm of his hand. 

"We can't. It's, ugh, it's against the rules.."

"Oh to ruddy heck with the rules! No one tells me what to do. Come on, touch me.." 

"Stop! You have to stop!" His moan is part groan and part gasp and when Rick leans to lick deep in his belly button, Vyvyan can't quite believe he's said no again. Rick yanks his pants down and palms his cock, groaning hungrily against his nipple and sucking on it until it's painfully throbbing in the explosive wet heat of his mouth, and it's the fatal combination Vyvyan can't bare. "God, yeah..." He swears again, his hips involuntary bucking into Rick's welcoming hand and as he tries one last time to push him away, he just can't bring himself to do it. "Okay. Alright! If you want me to fuck you then you've got to stop this now, please!" 

Rick's lips are suddenly on his, his smile curling wide - the devil of temptation staring down at him like a god, and as Rick tenses his grip and his strokes start to speed rapidly it's already far too late.

Vyvyan struggles against the biting kiss. He clutches at Rick's thighs, grabs fistfuls of skin-tight dungarees as his forced orgasm slams into him hard like a freight train. His whole body jolts beneth Rick's, over and over, his pleasure relentless until his chest is dripping and he's violently shaking.

Rick strokes the front spike of his hair from his forehead, his lips pressing in the middle of it in a kiss that burns like a hot skewer through his temples, his voice soothing and easing him back down to earth as the wrought tension in his every muscle dissolves. 

"That was gorgeous. You're gorgeous. Stay right there. I don't want you to move. I'm just going to fetch something from my room."

Rick's voice fades away again and when it returns, Vyvyan is led against the headboard still panting. He's starting to see a glint of daylight through the gap in the closed curtains and he's barely slept a wink but when Rick stands at the foot of the bed, staring at him and undoing both clips at his shoulders his tired eyes can hardly blink. The click of each metal fastener along with Rick's piercing gaze is completely mesmerising and Vyvyan continues to stare until it hurts.

By the time Rick strips down to his underwear and his dungarees are slung in pools around his ankles, Vyvyan couldn't care less if he never sleeps again. Rick teasingly slips his hand over his stomach and down into his pants, focusing right on him as he groans and takes himself in hand.

"Watching you come like that makes me sooo horny." Rick groans, throwing his head back with a wanton sigh that makes Vyvyan's heaving chest almost burst with desire. He squirms against the headboard, watching intensely as their eyes reconnect and Rick chews on his bottom lip. "So now I want you to watch me.." Seconds of observing the slow movements of Rick's hand in his pants and Vyvyan is hard again, _god,_ he's so fucking hard! "Uh, you have no idea how much I want you, Vyv. I cant wait til this week is over. I'm gonna ride you so hard like this.."

"B-but I thought you wanted me now? Don't you want to now? After I just...!"

"Oh I do. Really I do, and I'm still going to give you what you want, don't worry. But I'm going to use this instead. Then we wont be cheating at all will we? I mean, there's no mention of this in your pathetic rulebook is there? I know what that afternoon did to you when we were in the laundrette - how much you got off on being held against the washing machine like that. And I know what you want to do to me over it next week, you pervert. Now you get your wish but.. I believe the correct term is... hands free?"

Vyvyan stared at what Rick held in his hand, back up at his grin, and then down to his other hand as it moved even more fluidly in his pants. 

_Oh god!_

A dildo. 

There was no other word for it - well, none other that Vyvyan knew of anyway. Rick was holding a great big bloody enormous pink and plastic vibrating dildo! And if Vyvyan wasn't sitting down he was pretty sure his legs would have given out from under him. 

He reaches for it, his grip shaky as he balances the weight of it in both hands. It feels cool to the touch, smooth and heavy, looks even bigger this close, if that was even possible. He suddenly has so many questions that get silenced immediately with a gorgeous wet and urgent kiss.

Would something that size even fit? 

Was Rick actually going to do this right here in front of him? Fuck himself mere inches from where he was sitting?! 

Wasn't he allowed to join in?

Was he even allowed to touch?!

Was a certain part of his anatomy not satisfying enough any more?!

Had abstaining from sex this week forced Rick to invest in a solid nine-inch battery operated replacement!?

"I know what you're thinking." Rick breathed in his mouth, his voice echoing deep in his head in constant waves of spine tingling anticipation. "I always know what you're thinking, even before you do." 

"But.."

"If you don't want to participate I can always carry on without you? What? You think I don't know how to really get myself off? I'm sure it'll feel pretty good either way. Where's the lube?" As Rick leaned to open the drawer by his side of the bed, Vyvyan stopped him in his tracks and grabbed hold of his hands. 

"Wait. Stop. Hold on a bloody minute!"

"So you want to watch me now?"

"I-I didn't say that."

"You didn't have to. Told you, you don't have to speak." Rick straddles his thighs again, his underwear suddenly nowhere to be seen as he kneels over and pours lube in both of his hands. "I still want you, you know that. I always have. Surely you know how I feel by now." Vyvyan nods, it's all he's capable of doing as Rick linked his wet hand in his and lubed up the solid cold length.

_Love you, Vyv._

_Love you too._

The voices are faint and come from the deepest depths of his conscious, but Vyvyan recognises his own immediately, and it suddenly dawns on him; it's the absolute truth.

"Aw I know you do. But for the next hour I want you to use this, use me, and pretend that you don't. Coz I know how much you love to make me beg."

The vibrations are strong, agonising and fast, and Vyvyan feels each and every single one of them simultaneously as they rush through his arm and through his boyfriend's shaking thighs. Rick is wildly straddling him and finally he's naked, dripping with lube, whimpering desperately in his neck as he twists the dildo in and out and dares to crank up the pace.

_Oh fuck, so good! Do that again, please!_

This feels so much different than sex for the obvious reasons, but Vyvyan loves it all the same. He's been fucking Rick for what feels like hours and he's far from tired yet, but he tilts and aims the nub right on Rick's prostate at his request, thumbing the dial to maximum speed and rocking it back and forth as Rick falls limp in his arms and hoarsely screams out his name.

"Shh! You'll wake the whole house. Shut up and bite me." He slips two knuckles in Rick's mouth and feels him bite down on them hard as one final driving thrust impales him right the way down, his next scream a ragged and panting mess.

"Hold me, I've got you."

He stills his vibrating hand as Rick's digs his nails in his shoulders and keeps the humming pressure building exactly where it's needed until Rick is sweating profusely and its dripping all over him. Vyvyan wants to taste it - wants to bathe in it, wants to throw Rick on his back, force the pleasure into him, replace the wet toy with his cock and drink every exquisite moan from his lips. But he doesn't. He's really starting to sweat too now so simply grips hold of him tight and bumps the base of the dildo with his knee, thumping it against Rick's sweet spot with his every thrust until Rick sobs in his hand and a stream of hot spit wets his wrist.

Vyvyan doesn't stop until the frantic convulsions ontop of him do - until Rick's body feels boneless and heavy at the same time and until they're sliding belly to belly, soaked to the skin and stuck together, blissfully snogging throughout every shivering pulse of Rick's ecstacy. 

_God damn it, I love you._

When Vyvyan wakes in the morning it feels as if he's had the best sex of his life, either that or hes drunk an entire case of vodka, which is probably more likely. His head is splitting and he can barely open his eyes but when he does, Rick is led right there where he'd left him and he's staring at him with a massive grin on his face.

"Good morning."

"Ugh, morning." His memory is quite sketchy but Vyvyan can definitely remember that smile. The sheets feel damp under his bum, his pyjama pants are all soggy and ruined between his legs and _fuck_ he had sex last night!?

No. That wasn't it, was it?

Not sex but somehow they'd broken their pact?

He'd begged Rick and lost?

No. That wasn't it either.

He'd done something bad; a blowjob?

A handjob?

Maybe he'd done nothing and it was all in his head. But by the way Rick was positively beaming he knew there was more to it than that. The way he was starting to stare - his eyes all wide and crazy, as if he was a debauched lunatic who'd just murdered someone in his sleep, was starting to scare him. Vyvyan was such a heavy sleeper he probably could have and he'd still be non the wiser..

A wet dream was really embarrassing but going by how horny he'd been all week it was possible. It was only a dream, that had to be it, if only he could remember it more clearly.. Rick was still gazing silently, annoyingly at him. "What? What's the matter? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"No reason." Rick leaned in to kiss him and he kissed him right back. "You had quite the sexy dream last night, Vyvyan."

"Did I? Don't remember." He rubbed his forehead stars in confusion. "I had something in my hand? And something about the laundrette.." He shrugged, Rick only grinned wider.

"Yeah. Erm, yes. You could say that.. You were talking and everything. I nearly had a coronary when you rolled me over and told me what you wanted to do to me, especially when you said what with. Blimey.."

"You'll have to tell me about it sometime."

"Oh I intend to." 

Vyvyan relaxed as Rick curled up on his chest. Thank god it had only been a dream - whatever he might have said, and he hadn't really lost the bet in his sleep. That would be mortifying. Rick slowly brought his lips to his cheek and pressed them into his skin, the familiar rush of lust like a flaming burst of lightening and everything became vividly clear. 

"I intend to do much more than tell you about it, Vyv. Don't make any plans for this Sunday..."

 

 


	5. Getting Comfortable. *

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continues the morning after Mike's house party when Rick wakes in Vyvyan's bed. 
> 
> From my first fic, Let me show you. But can be read as stand-alone I think too.
> 
> Fluff, cuddles, and a * for smut.

_Wake up, lazy bones!_

Rick wanted to yell. He wanted to grab hold of the warm naked boy sprawled out next him and shake him awake. But he didn't. He simply led down, burrowed snug under the covers and nestled back in the warmth of their pillow.

It was almost 11:30 according to Vyvyan's watch, far too late to still be lazing in bed on a Saturday, especially after some of the pretty blimmin' filthy stuff he'd been getting up to for at least half of the previous night. He closed his eyes, replayed the best bits of the party. Getting dressed could wait for a moment...

_'- I wanted to kiss you before, - I want to kiss you now -'_

_'I wanted to kiss you, too. Come here -"_

~

 _'I didn't know you were into heavy metal, Rick? What's with the tshirt?'_

_'Erm, I borrowed it from my, erm - from my - housemate.'_

_'From your 'housemate',"_

_'Yes, my housemate..'_

_'Oh, I see. The ginger haired boy you were snogging the face off in the kitchen, perhaps? Or the hippy one with all the long hair?'_

_'Urgh, don't be so disgusting! The ginger one of course! Not Neil! What kind of sad pathetic pervert do you take me for?!'_

_'Ah okay. Cool. That explains that then. Doesn't it?'_

The conversation with Mary had happened only yesterday and it already felt like a million light years had passed. What had started as holding hands with Vyvyan afterwards, discussing whether they were actually in a relationship or not, had moved onto slow unsure kisses, briskly undone clothing and eager hands on each other until they both found they had no need for words.

Maybe he had jumped the gun telling Mary the truth after she had queried the tshirt he'd borrowed? What would she think if she knew Vyvyan had been jealous of her and that he'd almost ruined everything before it could start?

What would his parents make of all this - Mike and Neil if they knew of all the debauched goings on happening right under their roof?! 

It was so anarchic, Rick grinned, so terribly decadent. He'd only lost his virginity two days ago and he'd already lost count of the amount of times he'd had sex!

Maybe ten times last night?

Maybe even a hundred?

Maybe it'd been a non stop blur of stopping and starting, waking up in a cooling wet patch to find Vyvyan pressed hard against him again and then giving into temptation once more?

Would people at college be able to tell he was no longer a virgin after this weekend was over? 

Did he look any different?

He certainly felt different now...

Would the whole world know just by looking at them together that everything had changed and Vyvyan was now his, - whatever he was? 

Was he actually in _love_ with Vyvyan? If he was, did that mean Vyvyan was in love with him too? He probably wasn't, but he had said he -

"Rick! Can you please tell your stupid conscious to keep it's voice down! I'm trying to get some sleep!" 

Vyvyan rubbed at his temple and stretched out his arms, draping one back over him as he tutted and groaned. Rick smiled and sneaked to glance at his face, so relaxed when he was sleeping compared to how angry he could be. "Sorry." He sighed. This was only going to be for a second and then he was definitely going to get up. He had the whole house to tidy after their party last night and it ruddy well wasn't going to tidy itself! As soon as he felt Vyvyan settle back into the mattress he loosened his grip and attempted to shuffle away.

"And where do you think you're going, huh? Did I _say_ you could get up?"

"I am getting up. It's nearly lunchtime!"

"So?"

"So we can't just sleep the day away, Vyvyan. I've got things to do. The guys can't catch me in here with you. What on earth would they think?" Rick yawned and flung back the covers, easing himself slowly to the edge of the bed. It was the furthest he'd managed to prise himself from Vyvyan since yesterday. The air in the room felt cool against his worn body and his back ached so deliciously it was enough to make him blush.

Vyvyan shrugged. "Sounds like a challenge if you ask me?"

"No, not a challenge. A request. God, it's cold! Come on, come downstairs and have breakfast with me? You can help tidy up."

"As much as cleaning the kitchen and eating Neil's disgusting food is extremely tempting," Vyvyan grinned, still not opening his eyes, "I've got a much better request for you, Rick. And come here if you're cold, stupid!" Vyvyan's hand roamed towards him in search of his own and he took it.

He doesn't say anything as Vyvyan pulls him back down, kneels between his splayed legs and rolls his tongue down his stomach, and he can't if he wants to when his knees are anchored back with a shove and that tongue carries on down, licking everywhere wet until it's between his legs and softly easing inside him.

_One hundred and one times then?.._

_Oh, god, your tongue! I love it when you do this, don't stop!_

"What?"

"N-nothing."

"You said - "

"I said don't stop!"

"Oh, okay." Vyvyan disappears back under the covers, holding and licking and sucking him so hungrily that once he comes, Rick has to yank him up by his hair.

"God, Vyv!" He manages to pant. Vyvyan just grins, licking back up his body and over his lips. Rick moans at the touch, at the sharp taste on his tongue; their taste.

"Good then?"

"Good? Vyvyan, I can hardly move!" He feels Vyvyan smile as light kisses press over his cheek and his jaw. Vyvyan wiped his face in the sheet, led down by his side, head propped and looking at him with eyes so soft and pale he knew he'd always be lost in them.

Rick loves this - them - he'd never in his wildest dreams imagined he would be this happy with Vyvyan, or so comfortable and safe led here in his arms. He had never believed Vyvyan would look twice at him anyway after they'd wasted so much time fighting - caused each other so much pain. He shuffles bonelessly into him, curls softly against his chest as strong arms wrap around him and their bare legs entwine.

Rick never wants to leave this bed.

Vyvyan stays like that for a while, the severity of his hangover not even getting a look in now he finally has Rick in his arms - the one annoyingly brilliant boy who makes him smile for the first time in months - years even, he thinks, feeling equally as brilliant at the same time.

When Vyvyan shifts over he pulls him along with him, holds him ontop, warms the chill from his back with his palms and Rick instantly softens. They'd never done this before: touched each other like this, but he soon learns what to do and what feels good. He began a slow trace of patterns all over his skin, each stroke light, barely skimming over soft flesh and bone as Vyvyan groans and begins to relax. He moves slowly over his stomach, resting his cheek on his chest as both hands explore. "I love this." He sighs, the tips of his fingers creating goosebumps on contact as Vyvyan shivers uncontrollably beneth him.

"What? Being a fucking tease!"

"No." Rick's lips press into his neck. "I love that I get to touch you like this. I love that you let me."

"Oh." Vyvyan doesn't know what else to say. He'd never let his guard down this far, allowed himself this much of a glimpse of what he'd longed for with Rick - a happy future (not ending, this was only the beginning) and knew they wouldn't be here like this at all if Rick hadn't been brave and made the first move. Thankfully, he'd refused to give up on him. "I like it too. Stay there. I like it when you do that." Rick kissed him again, slid the palm of his hand up over his chest and his shoulder to cradle the back of his neck. "Yeah that - uh, feels good." He feels Rick press against him at his command, his soft hips moving on his until he's dizzy. "Uh, bit harder, -"

"Don't you want to - ?" Rick went to move his hand from his hair and Vyvyan grabbed both of his shoulders.

"No. Stay right there, uh that's perfect -" 

Rick nods. Vyvyan suddenly feels hot and so hard against his thigh it makes the back of his head throb. "You _can_ have more than my leg y'know, Vyv? Have - anything you want-" 

"Ugh- no. No time. Carry on!" 

Rick loves him like this: so filthy - so hard and filthy and desperate. He reaches down his stomach, takes hold of him gently, his own fading pleasure still causing his hand to shake as he tugs on his hair and gasps for breath again. Vyvyan is already leaking heavily through his fingers and he wants nothing more than to get him there too.  

" - Rick?" Vyvyan's head rolls back in the pillow. He doesn't know what he's asking Rick for, but somehow he understands. He tumbles them over so he's ontop again and Rick grips him so tight he could burst. He bucks into his hand, so hard and so fast he has to bite down on his lip for control. "Oh _fuck!"_

"Shh!" Rick strokes his hair, continues the movement. It only takes a few seconds before Vyvyan jolts in his arms, his entire body pulses wildly ontop of him and there's a rush of hot wetness on his hip.

Vyvyan cries out again, _"Fuck,_ keep going!" And Rick does exactly as he asks. This time his brain seems to turn itself inside out, a torrent of pleasure so painfully intense that his eyes are wet by the time it finishes and he's spilling over and over Rick's stomach. Later, he'll probably be really embarrassed by that but for now he's too helpless to care. He collapses into Rick, buries deep in his neck, his heart pounding like he's just run a marathon, the wetness of his orgasm sticking them together like glue, but, thankfully, Rick doesn't mention a word of it.

He loves this too; lying here with Rick, kissing and touching him whenever he wants. Having him here in his bed - this close, this utterly ruined and gorgeous, had been a hell of a long time overdue. "Uh, you might have been a virgin before, but, god, I never knew it could be like this."

"You, what?"

They both knew it meant more than just pillow talk, much more than; 'I've just come so hard I can't think straight!' And Rick can't stop the giggle that shudders on Vyvyan's skin.

"You heard me, you smug bastard. Don't get cocky!"

"Sorry."

Vyvyan knew that meant more too. Rick didn't flinch at his insult, didn't retaliate, didn't get up or punch him. Didn't leave. He'd seen enough in him already to shrug it off with a smile - to _stay?_

"You get all soppy after sex, do you know that?"

Rick teased him anyway, poking playfully at his most ticklish spot. He'd already sussed out where that was, the bastard! "Yeah, well I might dissolve into mush for one or two seconds after -" Vyvyan snapped, grabbing for Rick's prodding finger, "but you're a bloody soppy git all the time!"

"What? No I'm not!"

"Are to, you big girl!" Vyvyan still had hold of Rick's hand and gripped onto it as he grinned at the pout taking over his face. 

However content he was now, Rick couldn't let that one go. "Oh I don't think so, Vyvyan!" He snorted, "you're the one that cuddles up to me at night." Vyvyan slightly winced, Rick ignored it, "for both nights in fact. You're the one that won't leave me alone when I try and get out of bed, and you're the one that lies ontop of me for hours like this. I know you enjoy it. You don't fool me for one minute, young man!"

Rick wondered if he'd jumped ahead of himself again as Vyvyan mumbled something into his neck, but he stayed where he was, breathing softly in silence.

They're both finally quiet, mouths on flushed skin, fingers in hair, until Vyvyan sighed and turned his head for a breath. "Yeah, well! It's not my fault. You're comfy." The hardness in his voice was suddenly nowhere to be heard and Rick smiled too, knowing exactly what he meant.


	6. Maybe, baby!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Little fic inspired by the episode Cash. (Probably my favourite thanks to the amount of delicious Rivyan there is!)  
> I adore this scene and thought it needed some background. Hope you like :)
> 
> *fluff/new but established relationship/canon implied mpreg*

It had been four hours and twenty-seven minutes.

Vyvyan had counted.

Four hours and twenty-seven minutes since he'd announced the good news - and the slightly bent truth - to the rest of his bewildered housemates. And the gullible idiots still believed him!

_I'm pregnant. I'm going to have a baby!_

So far he'd managed to pull the wool nicely over Mike and Neil's eyes enough to order them around, fetching and carrying anything he wanted whilst he sprawled out in bed. Neil had made dinner: a disgusting lentil casserole (tasting suspiciously of soap powder) and Mike hadn't even complained when he ordered him to make the tea. Vyvyan didn't have to lift so much as a finger all afternoon, and it was completely brilliant. 

Rick still hadn't said anything about it and remained at the foot of his bed, looking gormless with his gob open and fiddling with a loose thread on his cuff. At first Vyvyan felt guilty and had very nearly told the truth, but he hadn't, and he still couldn't stop smiling.

_"But y-you can't be. You can't have a baby! You said you were only sleeping with, - I mean, how c-can YOU be?"_

He found it almost impossible to hold it together after that, but had somehow managed: 

_"Surely I don't have to teach you the birds and the bees, Rick, but then again you are a disgustingly girly virgin so I suppose you wouldn't know about these things. You ARE still a virgin, aren't you?"_

Rick's face immediately flooded with a blush. Mike and Neil hadn't been paying attention but, as usual, Vyvyan couldn't take his eyes off him. 

_"I, um, I - oh just, shut up and leave me alone!"_

He smirked to himself at the memory and loudly clicked his fingers; once again summoning his slaves. "Neil, bring me the telly up would you? I don't think I'll possibly be feeling well enough to come downstairs. Better safe than sorry, y'know, in my condition." 

Neil tutted but did as he asked and left while Mike remained at his bedside, buried nose-deep in his newspaper and randomly spouting out headlines that Vyvyan wasn't listening to. 

"- join the professionals, it's great. You can have a gun if you want..?"

By now the intense eye contact with Rick was making his heart race so he was thankful the anarchist changed the subject.

"So, Vyvyan, have you thought of any names for your baby yet?"

"Yeah," he replied with a grin, "Shut up and Piss off!"

"Oh that's very mature, I must say!"

Rick rolled his eyes but they soon focused on him again and this time he had to look away. It was either how Rick looked standing there in his huge Y fronts (that card game had been a genius idea!) or the fact that he was starting to get cramp from tensing his stomach muscles for so long that was making this so uncomfortable. His empty stomach growled with hunger. Why did Rick have to look so bloody attractive in his pants?! That wasn't part of his plan. He was supposed to look stupid!

"Vyvyan, do you think it'd be alright if I, erm, could I have a bit of a listen?" 

"Yeah if ya like." 

Rick approached and knelt down beside him. He was strangely taking the news of his supposed infidelity very well indeed, the bastard! And Vyvyan certainly hadn't been expecting him to push his tshirt over his belly and rest his cheek on his bare skin like this - well, not in front of Mike anyway. 

"Shh! Did you hear that?" Mike said, glancing up from his paper as another thump and loud yelp interrupted the peaceful scene.

"Yeah." He nodded.

"Mmm, I heard it too." 

Rick sighed, not bothering to lift his head and purposly breathing hot down the waistband of his jeans. Vyvyan started to panic. "God, he can't even follow a set of simple instructions! Go downstairs and see what's taking him so long, Michael. Bastard Squad's on in a bit. If that stupid bloody hippy has dropped and smashed the telly before that then so help me, I'll swing for him!"

"Right you are, Vyv. Rick?"

"No, um, I'm fine here thanks."

"Whatever you say."

Mike grinned and shut the door behind him and Rick immediately softened on his chest. Vyvyan skimmed a strand of hair from his cheek, lightly smoothing the back of his head for a moment before tutting and snatching his hand away. 

"Urgh get off me, you girl!" 

Rick still didn't move and Vyvyan decided to leave him where he was. He was obviously concerned for the welfare of his unborn child and a few more minutes couldn't hurt.

"Vyv, do you ever think Mike suspects?"

He closed his eyes, relaxing as the weight of Rick warmed his chest. "Hmm, what about?"

"About me and you, silly! The way he looks at me - at us sometimes. I dunno, I think he suspects we're more than just friends."

"Don't be disgusting! We're not friends! Anyway, he doesn't suspect, Rick. He knows." 

"He what? Vyvyan, are you insane?! We c-can't possibly tell people about this!"

"Why can't we?"

"Coz it's not decent! What in Cliff's name did he say?!"

Vyvyan giggled. That was more like it. It freaked him out when Rick was the calm one. He wasn't allowed to be bored with him already. That would never do. "He said something like: 'it's about bloody time' and we 'need our heads banging together,' and I said we'd already done that, along with a few other body parts." 

"Vyv!"

There was a sharp prod at his sides and Vyvyan grabbed the attacking hands with a warning. "Oi! Pregnant remember."

"Sorry." 

He felt Rick smile on his skin and let go of his hands, needing no more of a reminder of the state they could reduce him to. He could still taste him on his lips from the morning. After lazing in bed til gone lunchtime he still hadn't come back down to earth. Rick's hips would probably have his fingerprints in them for days, but that was nothing compared to how ruined he felt. Every cell in his body was already saturated with Rick. Keeping this relationship a secret, however briefly, had done nothing for his crazed teenaged lust. Rick being a virgin was possibly the biggest lie he'd ever told - well, that and being pregnant, but he had only said that because he was desperate not to have to go out and get a job. He already had one that was too important to lose. Winding Rick up might have been unpaid, voluntary, and it took all his spare time, but he couldn't imagine ever wanting to do anything else again. This time it didn't appear to be working..

"So do you think your baby will be a boy of a girl?"

"Haven't thought about it -" he shrugged.

"Do you ever imagine what it would look like, your child? A girl with your fiery temper, perhaps? Maybe a shocking head of red hair and freckles. Aw, that'd be nice - "

"I.." Vyvyan couldn't answer, he could barely even breath as Rick continued to ramble on like it was the most normal thing in the world. He wasn't shocked at all! Surely he didn't think it was really possible?!

" - imagine if me and you had children some day, Vyv. Your hair, my cheekbones, obviously she'd inherit my massive intellect, and my love of Trotsky. Maybe she'll be a future poet, or a world famous doctor someday. That would be amazing! Well you don't have to worry about doing this alone, I'm going to get a job. Or maybe I should finish college first? Whatever you think best. I wonder what my mother will make of all this. She'll have a ruddy fit at being called granny! We'll have to think of another name for her, and you're going to have to speak to the other girl of course - whoever she is. Speaking of names; what do you think of Vyvyan if it's a girl - or a boy too I suppose..."

"Whoa! Stop. Wait a minute. Bloody hell!" Vyvyan snapped shoving Rick off his chest reluctantly. "You do know I made the whole thing up? And boys can't have babies? You _do_ know that? I was playing a trick on you, you idiot. No need to get down on one knee and be all soppy! There wasn't really a girl. I didn't really - wouldn't really do that..."

Rick pushed himself up and propped his head in his hand, still sat half-hunched over Vyvyan who had broken into a streaming cold sweat. 

"Oh, Vyv. Your face! Of course I know boys can't have babies, and after everything you've done to me lately I think it's a ruddy good job! I know exactly when your lying. You're so obvious." Rick scoffed, biting his lip and grinning as the sound of Mike and Neil's voices grew closer. "But they don't know that, do they? They don't know you like I do. It's only been a few hours. I'm sure we can think of all sorts of things they can do for you. After he's brought the telly up I think you should send Neil to the Kebab shop, and Mike to the off licence. I'm starving after that revolting dinner and you _are_ drinking for two now. I'll stay here and make sure you're comfortable. I can be a pretty great nurse if you tell me to be."

He grinned and pulled Rick down for a kiss. It was brief, barely a dry brush of lips, but it was still a blessed relief.

"Well, I can certainly handle nine months of that. Y'know, Rick, I think you might actually be right for once!"


	7. Found you.*

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *Just had to edit after somehow posting this twice and jumbled together. Apologies! It's sorted now* :)
> 
> Vyvyan is hiding in the wardrobe, trying his best to get out of doing housework when Rick follows him and hides in the same place. It's dark. They're close - really close, and it's time for Rick to do some serious thinking. Is he really about to admit the truth now, after all this time?!
> 
> The one where Rick and Vyvyan are literally in the closet.
> 
> Or
> 
> An alternative Chapter 1 of Let Me Show You.
> 
> * for first kisses and fumbling first times.

Rick is too close to Vyvyan.

He's far too ruddy close!

In fact he's pressed against him so tight he can hear his heartbeat in his chest; the slow, melodic thump of it punching steadily through his blazer. It's consistent, soft, almost relaxing, Rick thinks, the only thing about Vyvyan that is any of those things.

He can feel his own heart beating too, erratic and fast, pumping fiercely through every bone in his ribcage, shaking what was left of the oxygen from his lungs. He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes, inwardly cringing and praying to Cliff that Vyvyan couldn't hear it. 

"If you insist on staying here with me then keep your gob shut, okay?"

Vyvyan's breath is close and Rick feels it's warmth on his lips. He nods. This is better. He doesn't like the silence between them, never has, although Vyvyan is seemingly used to it. Sometimes Vyvyan doesn't speak to him for hours after a fight - whole days even, and Rick really hates those days. They make him feel more alone than ever; even more disconnected from the one person who, for some reason or another, didn't seem to want to leave him alone lately. 

It's silent again now, too, but Rick supposes silence is necessary when you're avoiding the aftermath of a house party and hiding in the wardrobe. He doesn't even remember why he followed Vyvyan in here in the first place. Maybe because Mike always checked his bedroom first, and the very last place he'd ever expect to find him was hiding out in Vyvyan's.

There isn't much room huddled together, and, as Vyvyan had pointed out with a swift elbow in the ribs, not enough for them to stand side by side, so they've ended up kind of facing each other like this; feet slotted awkwardly and arms rigid by their sides like soldiers to make sure they definitely aren't touching. It's either this or stand back to back, which Rick is starting to wish Vyvyan had suggested as he feels the pointy studs of his belt in his hip. He takes another slow breath, and another, and another. Just like he had to do when the back of their hands brushed together. Now they don't even need to touch for that same flash of excitement to ripple down his spine. 

Rick is almost in bits when their stomachs touch - his continuing to leap into somersaults and Vyvyan's rock hard, warm and firm, like his every muscle was carved out of wood. Rick feels the light press like a sharp crack of electricity and has to sharply bite the inside of his lip. This is agony! He tries to take a step back, wincing as he knocks against the slammed wardrobe door and Vyvyan grabs hold and steadies him.

"I told you, keep still! If you blow our cover I'm gonna kill you, Rick! Well, y'know, once you've tidied the kitchen first.."

Rick nods, unaware that the gesture had gone unseen again as Vyvyan lets go of his scrunched shoulder pads. There's a slight creaking of floorboards in the hallway and the sound of footsteps fading away and Rick is nothing but glad. He doesn't want them to be discovered just yet, after all he'd only just got in here.

"False alarm."

Vyvyan breathes after a few minutes of listening and Rick feels the warmth expel out over his shoulder. If Vyvyan was an inch taller then he would have felt that breath on his cheek, he thinks, an inch nearer and it would be hot on his neck. He tuts, mentally cursing at their slight difference in height. The outline of that familiar face and set jaw become visible as his eyes adjust, and he can just about make out the sheer blueness of Vyvyan's from here. In this light they look almost navy when they focus on him.

"Alright?"

This time the short pant of breath hits his chin and it's all Rick can do not to grab hold of Vyvyan to steady his hollowing knees.

"Well? Answer me then!"

"W-why do you ask?" He feels Vyvyan shrug flippantly and his stance shuffle, the toe of a boot knocking loudly against the buckles of his.

"Dunno. You're too quiet."

"You told me to be quiet!"

"Ha! Do you always do everything I tell you?"

Rick thinks for a moment of the best way to answer this. If he said yes, Vyvyan would more than likely laugh at him, but if he said no then his punishment could be worse: a fist in the face? A painful boot in the shins or a grappling headlock? Or maybe this time he was safe and Vyvyan would leave him alone. After all, there was no room in here for anything that physical.

"Well? Are you alright or aren't you? I can feel you shaking."

Rick ignores the fact that Vyvyan could probably feel his hammering pulse too. "That's the first time you've asked me that." He says, keeping his voice low and knotting his fingers together nervously.

"What, today?"

"No. Ever."

Vyvyan shrugs again as they stare at each other and Rick is suddenly aware that he's holding his breath. He gulps and breathes through his nose and mouth all at at once, inhaling the startlingly familiar scent of faint alcohol, warm rolling tobacco and something so inherently Vyvyan that it turns both his legs to liquid. Since when had Vyvyan's smell become so familiar? _Oh god_ what was happening to him?!

"It's the first time we're alone and you're not throwing one of your girly strops. Suppose I'm just not used to it.."

Vyvyan is smiling, Rick can't see it but he knows. "It's your fault! I never really want to fight with you, Vyv. You start it! You never leave me alone! I'm surprised you're not all over me now, I mean.. I'm all about keeping the peace, me.." Rick also knows that he's rambling and quickly pulls himself back. He feels the movement of Vyvyan's arm long before his calloused fingers swipe his forehead.

"Hold still for a second - "

"What are you doing!?"

"Checking your temperature. I don't want you fainting on me and giving the game away. Hmm, just as I thought -"

"W-what?"

"Unfortunately, you're gonna be fine." Normally he would flinch away from that hand, Vyvyan was never this gentle with it, but this time he couldn't escape. Now there was nowhere for him to move but closer. "You spend far too much time with that hippy, d'ya know that? You're turning into Neil, you bloody puff!"

"I am not!"

"Are!"

He tutted and blushed, trying his best to bat that hand away without antagonising it further. "Vyvyan, longing for a peaceful world isn't puffy!"

"Shh!" The warm hand sprawls over his mouth, the splay of a finger curling over his lips as Vyvyan breathes harder and Rick leans in to the touch. "Someone's coming. Can't you hear that? Urgh, god, you're boiling!"

"Uhuh." The noise he makes is muffled under the weight of Vyvyan's palm and Vyvyan mockingly wipes it clean on his jeans before sealing it back over his lips. Rick would go as far as to say he wants more contact with his housemate than this (his other hand on his face, perhaps? Those rough fingers stroking his hair?) No, not just housemate, Rick corrects himself, more like friend? Mortal enemy? No, neither of those things either. Rick decides that the relationship between himself and the unusually playful punk isn't something that can be summed up with words at the moment.. Right now they're undefinable.

Neither boy speaks or moves.

Vyvyan's hand is still hovering over his mouth, flooding with his near-hyperventilating breaths, and both of Rick's are clenched at his sides, toiling with the impossible urge to grab and squeeze Vyvyan's hip bones. He hears the bedroom door swing open and the girl's voice first, louder and clearer than the man's. 

_"There's no one in here. This'll have to do."_

He doesn't know what's going on until the man replies and then it suddenly dawns on him.

_"Yeah, this is fine. Come on then, baby, what you waiting for? Get them knickers off!"_

The sounds of wet kisses and the fumbling of clothes drown out the creak of the bedsprings and Rick huffs out a gasp that Vyvyan clamps tight to his lips. The girl giggles and moans contentedly again and Rick's cheeks flush even hotter.

"Oh you've got to be bloody joking!"

"Shh!" It's now Rick's turn to shush Vyvyan but he can't bring himself to touch him yet, and after what feels like an age, Vyvyan releases his grip.

"There are people _snogging_ on my bed!"

"Yeah?" Rick says obviously.

"Well I'm not having it, it's revolting. I'm gonna go and kick em out!"

"Wait a minute, don't." Rick grabbed Vyvyan's wrist as it reaches to push the door open. He barely realises he's done it until Vyvyan squares up to him, eyes narrow and chest broad like he's about to lash out. "Don't." Rick says again, fear tightening in his throat so his voice sticks fast. He battles with the need to cough loudly and clear it. Vyvyan always used to say that his nervous laugh was stupid. "Don't go out there. They're only kissing, Vyv! And anyway it's a party. People _are_ allowed to snog each other at parties you know."

"Oh are they indeed?"

"Yes."

The word grates and he has to swallow but it's difficult. His mouth is as dry as sandpaper, as if someone has forced in the contents of an entire gravel driveway. The girl moans again. Rick fears his heart might actually beat out of his chest at this point, but it has nothing at all to do with her. He'd never been this close to another person before, except maybe his mother or many of his pushy aunties at parties - forever smearing his cheek with greasy lipstick stained kisses and telling him how cute he was. This was nothing like that. There was nothing about Vyvyan that was remotely cute, he noted, and not that Vyvyan had ever been in any way affectionate towards him, but this was already more intimate than anything he'd done before.

"Christ! This is actually starting to get me going. Bit of a bad time to get a stiffy when I'm stuck in here with you.."

He fought not to look as Vyvyan's hand roamed over his crotch - not to risk staring as he lets out a sigh and adjusts himself in the binding, skin-tight denim. Vyvyan obviously isn't looking at him as he does it, he's probably staring somewhere into space, but Rick can't help but wonder what he would look like now if it was light enough to see; what his expression would be like if he knew he was being watched. He imagines Vyvyan's hair, his fingers fusing around spikes of red, gold, and orange gelled hues - imagines what his sickly pale skin looks like now he's this aroused - and whether it would be smooth to the touch. Most of all he thinks about how much he wants Vyvyan to touch him again. He wipes his sweaty hands. Vyvyan has his folded in his arms and had slightly turned away, but Rick's niggling thoughts never cease. 

"God, just hurry up and fuck her already, this is getting bloody painful!"

"Vyvyan, _god, please_ shut up!" 

"I can't help it, I'm dying here.."

Vyvyan tugs at his jeans once again. The couple had suddenly become noticeably louder but Vyvyan's low and raspy voice is far too much. Rick was going to have to burst out of the wardrobe and lock himself in the bathroom if he didn't do something about his own hard on soon. He quickly thinks about Vyvyan's hands; how much better he would feel if they were on him instead. And when Vyvyan breathes on him again he thinks how such a soft sound could possibly come from a mouth usually so overflowing with insults. He imagines what it would be like to kiss that mouth now as Vyvyan sighs and stares through him straight ahead. He's aching and he's desperate but chooses to ignore it, hoping it would all go away if he stops thinking about Vyvyan. He needs to get this little crush under control and quick, coz there's no way in hell it could ever be reciprocated. Vyvyan wasn't even his friend, and he obviously didn't want that to change anytime soon..

But, what if..?

Rick impulsively shifts a few millimetres closer but pulls back when he realises he's being watched.

"What? What you lookin' at?"

"Nothing." 

What was he planning to do, exactly? Offer to 'lend Vyvyan a hand?' He would definitely get laughed at for that!

"It sounds like they're really going at it. Fuck, I'm so horny! This is way better than some of Mike's video nasties. I wish I had my camera -"

Rick tries to stop and reason with himself again but when Vyvyan leans back on him and his speeding pulse doubles it's already too late. "Vyvyan?"

"Yeah.."

God, their mouths are so close now. Much closer than Rick ever realised and he feels every slight hitch of their breath in his pants. "I want to, I mean, can I do, something? It doesn't have to mean anything. I know you don't feel like I feel - but I, I just, I need.." His arousal has flagged a little during his attempt to talk himself out of this but comes raging back to full force as their eyes meet, his cock full and heavy with want, straining against the front of his trousers as Vyvyan grins at him.

"Stop your whining and just do it."

He can barely breathe, his entire frame trembling as he feels Vyvyan press against him just as hard, his mouth hot and panting as Rick closes what little gap there is between them with his. 

He feels Vyvyan kiss back after a slightly surprised gasp and drowns deep in the sensation of it, in not only being side-splittingly aroused at the soft heat of his tongue but now head over heels in his lust. He knows this is the wrong time for this to happen and that Vyvyan is probably only turned on by the other couple (who are, by the sounds of things, having a spectacularly good shag) but Vyvyan is kissing him back and he's kissing him back fully, with lips and lots of tongue and a perfect rough scrape of teeth. All the reasons why they're doing this no longer matter because Vyvyan isn't stopping and nether is he. He can't stop this now even if their hiding place is discovered by the entire house, and the mere thought of that makes him harder than ever.

"Mmm yeah, that's good. Touch me."

Vyvyan reaches for his hand, pulls it down between his legs and groans wet on his tongue and right then and there, in that one blissful moment, Rick has never known pleasure quite like it.

"Have you ever done anything like this before?"

He shakes his head, not quite ready to break the kiss and too stunned to move as Vyvyan pulls his shirt from his trousers and flicks open the button. He laps slowly against the tongue that's pressing on his and the noise Vyvyan makes is obscene. 

"Just do what you do to yourself, alright? Only a lot harder. I like it hard - "

Rick kisses him again, and again and again, if only to conceal the threat of a mind-melting scream that's ready to burst from his throat as Vyvyan unfastens his belt and guides his hand around his cock. The firey hits of pleasure in his gut are only topped by Vyvyan's other hand sliding down into his pants. As Vyvyan softly groans and kisses him again he's so sickeningly happy he feels like he could explode.

It isn't a race, or a competition by any means, but they each beat the other couple hands down. Rick wants to go slow, touch Vyvyan everywhere, but there isn't enough time and Vyvyan's hands are too good.

"Ohh, god, Vyvyan!" He knows he's too loud, and so unashamedly desperate, but he's too far gone to control it. He's pulled roughly by the hair, forced hard into a kiss, feels the overwhelming rush of warmth soak through his shirt as Vyvyan jolts harder and pants raggedly for air. His hand is getting tired, but it doesn't stop, and Vyvyan comes all over him again, his hand gripping his braids, mouth shaking endlessly against his, until Rick can't take anymore and spills jointly over his stomach.

"Urgh, all over my pants, you bastard!" 

Rick just smiles. Vyvyan's neck is flushed and he can taste his sweat. It does nothing to cool him off, or make him want to stop kissing it. He licks a spot that glows warmly on his tongue and Vyvyan tilts his head to get closer.

"Fuck! Rick! Are you sure you haven't done this before?" 

He knows they have to stop and pull apart again soon and doesn't want to spoil the moment with something as trivial as words. Vyvyan bends to take a shirt from the pile on the floor and holds his wet hand in his for balance.

"You're gay!" Vyvyan says with a grin, using a sleeve to wipe his wet forearm and mopping over his clothes with the other. "Aren't you? I was right all along, wasn't I?"

"Do you want to be right?"

"Haven't decided." Vyvyan shrugs. "But that was too good for a pathetic little virgin. I think - " Vyvyan kisses him again, not quite finding his lips in the dark but Rick soon fixes that, "- that you really are a puff."

Rick smiles too and manages to make himself more respectable, fastening his trousers and pulling his blazer tight around his middle. His underwear is ruined and soaking wet between his legs, his shirt chafing and soggy on his chest, and he can still feel the force of Vyvyan's grip in each of his unravelling braids, but, for Cliffs sake, it had been worth it. He feels his way towards Vyvyan again, puts his hand on his chest and kisses him slowly on the cheek. "Yes," he whispers, so low it's barely audible, "yes, you're right."

When the wardrobe doors open the bright light from the naked bulb is blinding, but Rick can still tell it's Mike standing in front of them, and he can tell that he's cross. He doesn't know how long he and Vyvyan had been snogging for this time, but there's no sight nor sound of the other couple on the bed, and no noise coming from downstairs either for that matter. This was obviously some kind of hide and seek world record, he giggles, and it's probably up there with the world's longest snog, too.

"There you are, you pair of skivers! Don't think we haven't left plenty of cleaning for you to do. Everyone's gone now but the state of the house is atrocious. And there was a couple having sex in the bath! Ajax is in the bathroom cabinet. Dunno why but they kept going on about some girl making howling noises in one of the bedrooms, but there's only Neil here and he was hiding in the oven!" Mike says, scratching his head in confusion as Vyvyan glances at Rick and he bites down a grin. "Anyway, I'll leave you to it. There's bin bags under the stairs. Goodnight."

"Uh, do I really have to clean the house with that bastard!"

Vyvyan groans, his voice not dissimilar to the way it sounded in Rick's mouth. Rick doesn't retaliate.

"Yes you do. Why?"

"Because, Michael, I've spent all bloody night trapped in here with this gobshite after he followed me, and now I'm gonna be stuck with him again for god knows how long. I'm beginning to think he fancies me or something."

"Oh, don't be so rediculous. I could say the same about you!" Rick says, shooting Vyvyan a knowing sideways glance before climbing out of the wardrobe with a definite spring in his step. "Anyway, I don't know where you'd get such a ludicrous idea like that from. As if _I_ would ever fancy you, Vyvyan! Even the notion! Now come on, after you. The sooner we get this done the sooner we can go to bed.."

Vyvyan doesn't reply but grins, leaps ahead of him and sprints down the hall and Rick follows quickly behind. He isn't sure what's going to happen next, if anything, but at least one of their boring parties had been memorable.


	8. Release.*

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My first ever attempt at writing Mike/Vyvyan smut, and *gasp* I kinda liked it! 
> 
> I guess you could say it's pre-Rick/Vyv, but it's not set in the same universe as my others..
> 
> (I'm so sorry my darling Rick! Just borrowing your boyfriend. You can have him back now.)
> 
> Thanks for reading. Hope you like! :)

It's late when Vyvyan finally sneaks into his bedroom, way later than usual, and Mike is ready and waiting when he does. He was starting to think maybe Vyvyan wasn't going to at all after Bastard Squad had finished so late, but, thankfully, he'd overheard every bit of the screaming row he'd just had with Rick moments ago in the bathroom. This time he's nothing but glad of it even though it's probably roused the whole street and the screech of Rick's voice is still ringing in his ears. He knows from experience just how spectacular Vyvyan is in the sack when Rick winds him up, and tonight he's so desperate he feels like smashing through to his bedroom to shake him firmly by the hand... 

But maybe later.. 

He's managed to get past the fact that Vyvyan 'accidentally' calls out Rick's name when he comes. After the fifth time it's probably no accident at all but it doesn't bother him now. Their sex had been nothing short of sensational the first night that happened, even if Vyvyan had been horrendously embarrassed afterwards, refused to speak to him for days and spent even longer than that chasing Rick around the house for a fight. He understands that he needs it that way so he never brings it up.

The sheets are thrown from the bed, pillows arranged accordingly, and Vyvyan is already naked as he slips in beside him. He doesn't say anything to acknowledge his presence as his pyjama bottoms are undone and slung in pools round his ankles. They don't talk about this. Never have. Not since.. whatever this was.. had started. Not before, not during, and especially not after.

There's nothing really to say.

But those hands. _God,_ Vyvyan's big hands sliding slowly up his thighs are already making him dizzy, each caress of his thick fingers causing him to harden fully against his stomach and Vyvyan hadn't even touched him there yet. He pretends not to wake as he's pulled closer, Vyvyan's cock presses hard in his back and he's grabbed roughly by the hair, though he knows the punk isn't fooled. He knows it's all part of their game and that both of them want this; their pretend ignorance. He bites back a soft moan when Vyvyan strokes his bare hipbone - that touch unbearably familiar, strong and hot, unstoppable as it moves across the sensitive muscle of his belly to where he needs it the most. A flick of a wet tongue traces his ear, accompanied by a pant of warm breath and a slight groan when he wriggles back and brings up his knees, allowing Vyvyan better access. He's hidden the bottle of lube under the pillow already but not before he'd used it to fully prepare himself for this. 

Vyvyan slowly pushes into him, already wet too coz they know they don't have much time and Neil is still up watching television. He moans into the hand that's there waiting, pressing gently over his mouth when Vyvyan starts to thrust and he moans right on cue. For now at least, although unspoken, they have a mutual understanding that is non-negotiable: The others must never, ever find out about this. No matter how amazing it feels, whatever happens, or however much he wants to yell out loud. His eyes drift closed. It's dark anyway and they never do it face to face or with the lights on, but he's convinced himself this way is for the best. This way he can imagine whichever woman he wants: the blonde he chatted up on the bus this morning, or the beautiful redhead who works in the chemist - Victoria, who smiles at him whenever he goes in. Buying seventeen tubes of toothpaste and all those unopened packets of condoms over the past couple of weeks had been worth it to be on first name terms with her. A soft breath teases his ear and he swallows hard, one hand trailing down his chest again, his eyes still closed as he tries hard not to gasp. _"Yes. Yes! Oh, god, V...-"_ At least if he was to slip and start to say the wrong name then theirs were similar enough to cover his tracks. His only saving grace. Not that he wants Vyvyan to ever know that he wants this..

Vyvyan growls softly in his ear and he wants to grab him to shut him up, wants to force the moan back down his throat, but the slight sound of him is so utterly intoxicating he can't move. He concentrates on holding still while thin lips mouth his shoulder and Vyvyan's hard body overpowers him. His hips arch slightly, eyes squeezing tighter shut in the hope that Vyvyan hasn't noticed how desperate he is, hoping to Christ he'll keep touching him with that firm, burning hot hand.

A thumb strokes up and down, circles the head of his cock, teasing and calloused, and _god,_ he's _really_ hard now. Embarrassingly so..

"Mm..." Vyvyan sighs and he tries not to reply. Wets his lips because they're suddenly as dry as a bone. Tries to breathe deeply. Can't. Not when Vyvyan is licking the back of his neck and his hand is stroking him harder - just hard enough for it to hurt. He whimpers. Whimpers again when he's shoved face down in the pillow and pulled roughly on all-fours.

It's wretched how much he loves this.

How they've gotten here he'll never know. No permission was asked, and none was given, but for some reason Mike can't remember a time when that was a problem. All he remembers is the first time, his eyes wide and mouth gulping down ragged gasps while Vyvyan leapt ontop of him and tore at his pants. All he'd been doing was innocently teaching him the time on his alarm clock and then suddenly they're naked and breathless in his bed, having what could only be described as a thoroughly debauched and extremely hard shag. Thinking how much he misses him on the nights he doesn't pay a visit isn't how it's supposed to go.

This is so wrong.

This is just so damned perfect!

Vyvyan slams into him harder. Not asking. Just a growl that screams ownership while his hips force themselves back in his hands. There's no point in pretending any more. He knows this is far more than a meaningless shag, at least it is for him, but he's far too afraid to admit it.

His hand finds his own cock, wraps around Vyvyan's, tugging more urgently to ease the pressure more than to show him what he likes. He doesn't need to show Vyvyan what to do. Vyvyan knows only too well. He might have taught him lots of things over the years, but when they're in bed doing this their roles are very much reversed. At the moment he's ramming into him like a damned piston, going so deep with each thrust that Mike can't catch his breath before the next. He turns his head sideways, sucks in a heaving breath, his own hand moving fast. Faster. Fuck! He wants to bring himself off, needs it, but not yet. Not until...

Vyvyan's hand pulls away, settles on his hip with the other, leaving him to it. He writhes back, still whimpering under his breath. Wanting more. Wanting everything. Almost in tears with need. Blunt fingernails score in his belly and he sobs in almost painful frustration. "Now, uh please, Vyv.." He gasps, feeling Vyvyan's breath hitch on his back when they both realise that one of them has spoken. It's not what they do. He thinks he's ruined it, that Vyvyan will stop this and maybe never do it again. There's no way that could happen. That wasn't part of their plan..

A soft kiss sucks into his neck and teeth scratch. Vyvyan is making sounds that are uncharacteristically soft, a slight _"ah, ahh.."_ against his ear.

He might be going mad.

He doesn't fucking care.

Vyvyan is first to come, silently this time, and so deep inside him it can't be real. He's glad. He doesn't want to be first - doesn't want this to end. He spreads himself wider, tries to take it all, feels the flood thick and warm as it runs down his legs. Condoms are probably a good idea after all, he thinks, but sod it! He's had enough good ideas to last a lifetime.

Hips are still moving. Vyvyan won't stop. Not until they're both done, he never does.

He loves him a little bit for that. 

Loves him a lot?

"There. Now. Now you can." Vyvyan whispers up close and he loses it completely, roaring a scream into the pillow without meaning to, hands scrambling under it and locking there, needing to just hang on to something that isn't Vyvyan.. Vyvyan who is now frozen ontop of him, panting hot in his ear. He lies caught in the spin of mind-numbing pleasure for what feels like hours as flame-red hair tickles his cheek.

He strokes it between his fingers, feels a soft moan rumble from Vyvyan's throat as his mouth presses on his. Of all their kisses, this one is perversely sweet. That voice alone, all weak and exhausted like this, is enough to make his legs give out from under him, let alone the rough pounding they frequently withstand.

They don't kiss for long. They never do. Although each kiss is longer than the last. He's not sure why but maybe it has something to do with the pure deliciousness of keeping their secret a secret. And with the enormous release. They're letting go of something here, so why not let go of everything: every bit of Vyvyan's anger, every hint of his own frustration, every tedious hour of boredom they have to spend with the others is worth it when replaced with soft hands and careful touches.

He hears a soft, soothing murmur when Vyvyan leans up to pull out and he's still shuddering as he does it, his hips jerking to the rhythm of Vyvyan's every savage thrust as they untangle their limbs and hands slip wet in their sweat. It's everywhere. He's covered in it, and when he rolls on his side and stretches his aching legs he realises the bed is soaking beneth them too. He doesn't mind lying in the wet patch. Somehow it's more satisfying than the wetness he usually feels with a girl.

Fingers stroke past his, feeling it too. The broken moan of Vyvyan's approval is perfection, their hands linking together for a brief moment before they each come to their senses and carry on as before.

He doesn’t want that.

Maybe he'll be brave enough to tell Vyvyan one day.

But not today. 

Today they're fine as they are.

An unusually soft kiss brushes his cheek, smudging beads of sweat that he wipes on his pyjamas. His hands shake as he pulls them back round his middle and ties the cord snug. 

The bed springs squeak as Vyvyan stands. He winces at the sound of it.

Cold sheets are thrown over his back and he lets the footsteps on the bare floor fade away before opening his eyes again. It's barely light enough to see that far ahead but he watches Vyvyan close the door behind him, leaving him in the dark. Alone again. Until next time.


	9. Frilly pink, and lots of kink?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A short fic about how Mike and Neil hate their housemates arguing in the middle of the pub now that they've become more than enemies.
> 
> Or
> 
> Why Vyvyan finds it so difficult to sit next to Rick now that he's returned from a secret sexy shopping trip with something bloody amazing hidden under his clothes.
> 
> This could have been so much dirtier I'm surprised at myself! Thanks as always for all your lovely comments. You keep me writing! Hope you like this ramble :)
> 
> (Kudos to anyone who gets the Bad News reference)

"Here ya go, handsome.."

"Ta." Mike handed over the notes and took the drinks from the bar, passing Rick's glass of water and Vyvyan's vodka and ice to Neil and turning his back on Vyvyan's Mum for the two remaining pints. "Are they still going at it?" He asked, slinging the change she lovingly pressed into his palm into his top pocket.

"Yeah. You can hear them from here. Must be nearly an hour now. Do you have any idea what they're fighting about this time?" Neil asked, sighing, balancing the drinks in his hands along with the crisps and following Mike back to their table - ignoring Rick and Vyvyan's increasingly angry backwards and forwards exchange.

"Nope. Not a clue."

_"Look, why won't you just tell me what colour they are?"_

_"Because you have to guess! It's fun."_

_"It's not fun. Tell me right now, or I'll smash your face in!"_

_"No you won't."_

_"God, I really hate you sometimes!"_

_"No you don't."_

_"I do, Rick! I really, really hate you!"_

_"Oh, stop overreacting!"_

"You think they'd get fed up by now, wouldn't you, Mike? I, for one, am getting pretty fed up.." 

"Well why change a habit of a lifetime?" Mike said, glancing towards Rick - who was still flicking lazily through the cartoons in his newspaper. He knew he was only pretending to be bored of the fight 'coz he was trying his hardest not to smile whilst Vyvyan continued to yell at him furiously. He also knew Vyvyan wasn't nearly as angry as he appeared 'coz they were sat so close he may as well have been straddling Ricks lap. "I don't think they're gonna get fed up any time soon by the looks of things, Neil. And if you want my advice I'd say it's a definite wear-your-earplugs-to-sleep kinda night, if you catch my drift?"

"Oh no, not again! I don't get it. They were fine until Rick came back from the shops. What's so great about bickering all the time anyway? It doesn't make me feel very sexy. It's becoming such a drag, man."

"Beats me. No smashed glasses or heads through windows so far though, so it could be worse I suppose. C'mon, after you. I could do with another referee for this one." 

It's silent when they sit back down. Eerily so. And just when Mike was starting to think the argument had finally blown over, Vyvyan piped up again..

"Blue!"

"Nooo." Rick sighed, sounding more bored than ever, which only seemed to aggravate Vyvyan further.

"Green then?"

"Nope."

"Yellow?"

"You're way off, Vyv. I'd give up now if I were you."

"No chance! You don't get off that bloody lightly! Try this one on for size: orange, with white polka dots."

"Huh, well now you're just being silly!"

"TELL ME THEN!"

"No. You know the rules, Vyvyan. Play along properly or I'm not playing at all."

"I'm gonna bloody well kill you in a minute!"

"Well you'll never find out then will you?"

"Bastard!"

Mike rolled his eyes and Neil propped his elbows on the table - both his palms covering his ears as he sipped his lager from a straw. The Kebab and Calculator was always busy at the weekend, yet he could still hear Vyvyan over the bustle of the crowd.

"Red? Red and black? Blue, red and black?! Blue, red and black with multicoloured fucking stripes?! Come on, Rick, give me a bloody clue!"

"Getting cold-errr." Rick teased, still not looking up from the page he was 'reading.' Dan Dare was this week's cartoon and usually he would have sat still, enjoying it in silence, but obviously he enjoyed winding Vyvyan up far more.

"Puff!"

"Well I'm definitely not telling you now if you're going to resort to such petty name-calling." Rick huffed, licking his finger to turn the page again and again as it stuck to the beer-soaked table top. He could feel Vyvyan staring at him as he did it so exaggerated the lick even more, running the pad of his thumb all over his softened tongue as seriously as he could, taking his eyes off the comic strip just long enough to see Vyvyan glaring red-faced at him - those piercing eyes following his tongues every movement.

"Oh you're gonna be sorry!" Vyvyan warned, still staring through his grin.

"No. You're the one that's gonna be sorry. Fifteen pounds of your beer money floating it's merry way down the draaain.." Rick sung in his best annoying voice as he nudged Vyvyan's arm. Vyvyan poked back.

"Oi! Fifteen bloody how much?! I ain't made of money! You didn't, did you? Get them from the same place as the other.. y'know?"

"Yep."

"Well where's the bag then?"

"Didn't need a bag."

"What? You mean you're.? You're actually..? Underneath all your..?!"

"Yep."

"Right now?"

"Yep."

"Jesus! With all the, y'know, things..?"

"Oh yes. I got the things."

" _Fuck! _"__

__"Let's leave that 'til later on, shall we?"_ _

__"Okay, this changes everything. I'm saying white, yeah? The white ones were really, _really.._ "_ _

__"Shh! No, not white."_ _

__"Black then?"_ _

__"Not telling."_ _

__"Teasing prick!"_ _

__"I don't think that's the campaign the advertisers went with in the window," Rick giggled, "but yeah, I'd say that's a pretty accurate description of the effect."_ _

__"Show me. Right now!"_ _

__"No."_ _

__"Just a tiny bit."_ _

__"No."_ _

__"I demand that you show me this instant!"_ _

__"No!"_ _

__"You fucking.. spoilsport!"_ _

__"Well you're never gonna get into them with that attitude, Vyv."_ _

__"Fuck sake!"_ _

__As they carried on the heated debate Rick still faked being bored to tears, only now Vyvyan was positively vibrating with frustration. Mike unfolded the sports section and continued to muse over it and when Vyvyan slammed his fists on the table, bursting the bags of crisps wide open and spraying shards of crumbs in Neil's hair, Neil had heard well enough. "Guys! Stop all this fighting, yeah? It's weekend. It's supposed to be relaxing. Look, I know you're boyfriend and, erm, boyfriend, now," he frowned, still not sure of the correct terminology as Rick and Vyvyan threw each other a brief shrug, "but that doesn't give you the right to pollute the air with insults and disturb the peace and quiet all afternoon does it? Rick, maybe if you stop provoking him.. Just give Vyvyan whatever he wants, alright, and we can carry on enjoying our Saturday in harmony." Mike laughs, Vyvyan nods eagerly, yet Rick could only gasp in horror._ _

__"What? Right here in the pub? In front of everyone?! I'd really rather not if you don't mind, Neil! I say, steady on. There's no need to get all pervy!"_ _

__"Ha! Nice one, Neil." Vyvyan turned his attention back to Rick - who was beginning to flush a very fetching shade of pink - a very fetching shade of pink indeed, and Vyvyan was so angry he could have punched himself in the face! Why the hell didn't he think of that in the first place? Pink was such an obvious choice for his horrendously girly boyfriend. "See. Even the bloody hippy is bored of your whining. You total and complete bloody GIRL!"_ _

__"I'm not actually, Vyvyan. I just don't understand why you guys are together if you're always fighting, that's all.."_ _

__"Oh don't be such a spazmo, Neil! We're not fighting, are we Vyvyan?"_ _

__"No, of course not. Whatever gave you that idea?"_ _

__"For Cliff's sake, Neil, don't start causing trouble! We happen to be having a very serious and adult conversation about something important so stop being so nosy. Fascist!" Rick scoffed, "right, Vyv, you get one more guess."_ _

__"I already know."_ _

__"No you don't."_ _

__"Do."_ _

__"Do not."_ _

__"DO!"_ _

__"DO NOT!"_ _

__"You're so obvious you're practically transparent, Rick. Well, y'know, in a transparent pink kinda way.. Am I right?"_ _

__"Maybe.. Depends if you're thinking light or dark, and frills?"_ _

__"I bloody am now! Pleanty of thrills."_ _

__"I said FRILLS, you pervert!" Rick yelled, for a second forgetting he was in a public place. Vyvyan apparently had forgotten about it too._ _

__"Says the person sitting next to me wearing.."_ _

__"Shhh, SHUT UP!"_ _

__".. such a big stupid grin. Why, what did you think I was gonna say?"_ _

__"I hate you."_ _

__"Hmm, no you don't."_ _

__"Guys! Give it a rest, yeah? There's  
psychologists for this kind of thing.." Neil sighed again, giving up as Mike took over. _ _

__"I know you two live in you own little world most of the time, and I swear to god you even have your own language sometimes," he interrupts the mutual fit of giggles by slamming his empty pint down, "come to think of it, I suppose that's for the best all things considered, but are you gonna carry this on for much longer? Your mother keeps tutting at you, Vyv. She's giving you both some real daggers."_ _

__"Oh is she now!" Vyvyan is suddenly a lot more animated, jabbing Rick in the arm again. "Is she looking over?" Mike nodded._ _

__"Uhuh. She is now yeah."_ _

__"Come on. Quickly! Before she turns away again.." Vyvyan slung his arm around Rick and Rick immediately leant towards him, suddenly allowing Vyvyan's hands to roam wherever they wanted and his teeth to nibble hungrily at his neck. Rick craned his head for full effect, looking purposely over at Vyvyan's mum and putting on quite the show for her, their other housemates and the rest of the pub, just as he did earlier at the bar when she'd refused to serve Vyvyan because he was holding his hand. Vyvyan didn't let on, and didn't let go, but Rick could tell he was hurt so enough was enough. He grabbed both spikes either side of his head and kissed him hard, forcing their tongues flat together. Vyvyan smiled and snogged him right back. That would certainly show her!_ _

__"Bloody hell. I don't know what's worse: all their fighting or this.." Mike groaned in disgust as Rick eventually lets Vyvyan up for air, still pawing at his jacket and leaning in close as Vyvyan cupped his jaw and ran his hands through his hair._ _

__"Urgh, I do." Neil was quick to reply as Vyvyan firmly gave his mother the finger from around the back of Rick's head._ _

__"You'll get us all barred if you carry on like that."_ _

__"Nah, she might be a bitch but she wouldn't do that to us. Rick's piggy bank is her best customer and anyway she really - " Vyvyan's hand is still on the nape of Rick's neck - the gesture still in plain sight when Rick finishes his sentence._ _

__"- deserves it. She was really horrible."_ _

__"To who?"_ _

__"Him."_ _

__When they each say the word at the exact same time, Mike can't help but laugh at the sheer rediculousness of their relationship. They still fought relentlessly to the point of near cruelty, but their loyalty to the other was fiercer. "I remember a bygone time when there used to be two of them, don't you Neil? Now they're morphing into the same kinky, disfunctional person. Fancy a game of pool?"_ _

__"Yeah, alright yeah. They probably won't even notice.."_ _

__"Jukebox?" Rick asks, untangling himself from Vyvyan and peeling the soggy newspaper off the table._ _

__"Alright. Give us your money then."_ _

__"You stole my money!"_ _

__"No I didn't. I left you something at least, and you did spend all mine on.."_ _

__"Shh! You left me two five pence pieces and a load of bottle caps! And it's my turn!"_ _

__"It bloody isn't! We had your selection last month. Bloody Cliff! Empty your pockets."_ _

__"No. Leave me alone. Jukebox Nazi!"_ _

__"Shut up and fish your girly purse out your knickers, I know that's where you stash it."_ _

__"Vyvyan! Not so loud! Anyway, you'll have to ruddy well catch me first.."_ _

__Rick sped off in the direction of the toilets, quickly followed by Vyvyan hot on his heels and Mike didn't flinch. "I guess one man's fight is another's flirtation," he said, rummaging in his pocket for coins, "it was nice while it lasted but that's more like it. Nice try though, Neil. That's us safe for a couple of hours. Same again?"_ _

__"Yeah I suppose."_ _

__When Vyvyan had caught up with Rick and wrestled him head first into the toilet door, Rick continued to shove him away._ _

__"Stop it!"_ _

__"Aw come on. Don't be like that." Vyvyan groaned, wrapping his arms around his waist from behind and sliding his hands slowly between his legs. "You gonna show me what you bought from town then?"_ _

__"Not yet." Rick knew full well that Vyvyan would get his own way reguardless but he still put up a convincing fight. It was all part of the game. "Patience." He breathed as Vyvyan groaned hot in his ear. "Just wait 'til we get home."_ _

__"Just _you_ wait til we get fucking home! Come on, I'm dying here. Just give us a peek.."_ _

__"Alright, not here.." Rick was going to take Vyvyan's hand and pull him in a cubicle but he wasn't quick enough. He didn't even have time to breathe, let alone protest, as Vyvyan scooped him in his arms and flung him over his shoulder._ _

__"Thought I'd conserve your energy if last time was anything to go by. You should be barred from that damn lingerie shop too. It's extremely bad for my health, not to mention my wallet.."_ _

__Rick grinned as Vyvyan bundled him into the narrow space and locked the door. That was probably true. The first time he'd bought girls underwear from the posh shop on the high street they hadn't made it downstairs all weekend, hell, they'd barely even made it out of bed. He'd been really embarrassed when Vyvyan had walked in on him by accident trying them on, and he'd never revealed this secret side of himself to anyone before, but he should have know better; Vyvyan wasn't just anyone. Expensive or not, those knickers hadn't lasted very long at all._ _

__"I'll come with you next time and help you try 'em on."_ _

__"Help me take 'em off more like. Then we'd both be barred. There. That's all your getting for now. What do you think?" He said, unfastening the button on his jeans, just below the lace waistline of the knickers and the top of the suspender belt holding up the sheer stockings. "Well? What do you think then? D'ya like it?" He repeated as Vyvyan made a deep sound in his throat - a low rumble of an _ohh_ that only made the thin silk strain tighter. He figured it wasn’t a bad thing._ _

__" _Fuck me!_ Jesus-bloody-fuck, Rick!"_ _

__"Is that a yes?"_ _

__"Come here. Let's 'ave a proper look at 'em. Get these off-"_ _

__"No!" Rick squealed, giggling again and trying his best to wrestle out of Vyvyan's grasp. "You'll have to wait."_ _

__"But we won't be home for hours yet."_ _

__"Exactly. Told you it was fun."_ _

__"Uh, you fucking tease. You fucking, fucking, fucking tease!" Vyvyan sat back on the toilet seat with a thump, staring in awe as he stroked the lace on Rick's hip and guided him closer. At the strain of his voice, Rick gazed down at him, and Vyvyan had to remind himself to breathe as he nuzzled his nose in silk and mumbled, "oh fuck, fuck, _fuck!_ "_ _

__Vyvyan's cheeks were already as pink as his underwear and his breath was roaring in heaves on his stomach. Rick lightly pushes his hair back and watches him, panting hot in the bow at his navel. "Oh, Vyv, it's really that good? Do you really like it?" Would Vyvyan say yes if he didn't mean it? He knew his actions spoke louder than words, and he knew only too well what he thought of him in a dress, but this was different. "I wasn't sure about the pink. It feels nice but I don't think it's quite.. me. I think the colour might drain me?"_ _

__Vyvyan grins and touches his lips to one of the long ribbons running down his thigh. He could sink his teeth into that thigh right now. Oh, he'd love nothing more than to feel Rick yield under the pressure. Instead, he settles for suckling the soft concave of his hipbone and Rick eventually relaxes into his strong hold, lets his arms settle around his waist and his hands to rub and rest on his back, rocking slightly against him just to hear his sharp intake of breath. When he thinks of all the damage he could do he bites the silk, wetting it with a long stroke of his tongue. "No. I think it's perfect. You're perfect. And nothing's gonna drain you but me.." Rick shivers at that. It's cute. It's more than cute, and Vyvyan gives him a hint of all the tongue action still to come, just above the lace trim - right there on the exposed skin of his inner thigh just to watch him blush. All the hot pink does a lot of favors for that particular reaction of his, and although he'd never dreamt of undressing a girl like this before, Rick looks so sexy he needs him naked already. This is way better than spending money on alcohol. His boyfriend was obviously some sort of bloody genius.._ _

__"But Mike and Neil, a-and your mum's still working and.." Rick stammered, his voice trembling, "she might come in and.."_ _

__"Uh can we leave her out of this please? I was just about to get very seriously hot and bothered."_ _

__"Bit late for me.."_ _

__"I noticed." Vyvyan hummed into the silk, mouthing Rick's erection as he pushed his thumbs into the frills, pulling them swiftly downwards, "you're not the only one who likes to see you dressed like this y'know?"_ _

__"Really?"_ _

__"Mmm," Vyvyan hummed again, drawing it out so the fabric vibrated on his tongue, "Well my cock certainly doesn't disapprove.."_ _

__"Can we leave disapproving cocks out of this too please, Vyv. It makes me think of your mother again."_ _

__Vyvyan chokes on his laugh, his mouth never leaving slick material as his hands travel over the elastic that digs in Rick's legs, his fingers worshipping and gentle, retracing the path they had taken so many times before, but never enough times. He'll dream of this later, of what awaits when they get home: Rick all done up in tight lace and bound, cupping and stroking, untying bows like every Christmas present he'd never had as Rick writhes wet in their bed and gasps his name. Of course, that's if they even make it to bed._ _

__"Vyv, can I ask you something?"_ _

__"Mmm."_ _

__"Do you think me and you _are_ disfunctional? Do you think this is weird?"_ _

__"Don't you like it?"_ _

__"Course! Do you?"_ _

__"Put it this way, I like it so much I could play pool with the others without using a cue!"_ _

__"But do you ever think we might be a little too.. perverted?"_ _

__"No. No such thing. God, have you seen the state of you?! It's perfectly natural. Anyway, no one needs to know but me. I like the fact that they think we fight. I love that I hate you.. It makes me so horny!"_ _

__"I know.. but dressing like this isn't exactly normal-"_ _

__"Shut up! You're not normal! You're beautiful," Vyvyan tutted, sitting back and smoothing his hands slowly down flesh that trembles when he touches it, "and I don't know about you but I don't fancy being bored to death around the pool table all afternoon, do you?" At the suggestive arch of his eyebrow, Rick smiles and shakes his head. "Good. Now jeans off, Princess, and come to Daddy." Rick strips out of his clothes in a flash and he pulls him on his knee, both hands marvelling at the full curve of his bum incased in fine lace. "That's my good girl. I hope you kept the receipt!"_ _


	10. In Safe Hands.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rick and Vyvyan are still hiding their relationship from the others despite the strain, but sometimes it's the simple things like a walk into town and dinner that makes all the sneaking around worthwhile.
> 
>  
> 
> Ahh so much fluff. I'm sorry, I can't help it!!

They were strolling together quite aimlessly the first time it happened, both with hands in pockets, walking in step, enjoying the mid-afternoon sun on their faces and bustle of the crowd as they weaved between groups of goths and mods and dodged their scooters. Camden was a great place to be on days like this. Despite the noise and heat and thick scent of illegal substances, everything seemed so peaceful. Like there was nothing wrong with the world at all.

Of course, it's not only the summer breeze on his face that's fuelling Rick's good mood. The fact that he's here with Vyvyan and they're finally alone is enough to put a soaring leap in his step. After not being able to so much as send a glance his way in front of their housemates, sneaking around in secret for three long weeks like a couple of naughty schoolboys - not to mention nights involving very little sleep - being able to relax into some kind of normality for the day was a blessed relief, well, at least for what little time there was left of it.

"What about that one there?" Vyvyan asks, pointing in the direction of a restaurant at the top of the street, nearly punching him in the face in the process. 

"Oi careful! No. Don't like the look of it."

"We're eating dinner there, Rick. Not moving in the damned place! What's wrong with it?"

"Just.." Rick eyes the group of punks loitering by the entrance. The one with the skinhead and safety pins in his nose stops mid-conversation to look him up and down. "They just look kind of, scary. I'd never be seen dead in a place like that. Not my scene."

"Oi! What's that supposed to mean?"

"Not you." Rick scuffs his heels on the cobbles, "I didn't mean you, Vyv. I'm not scared of you.."

"No you're not, are you? Why is that?" Vyvyan tries his best not to sound disappointed. It's a good thing Rick doesn't feel scared anymore - a very good thing. It would simply take some getting used to.

"Dunno really. You're - You're not like I thought. You're different like this. Happier."

Vyvyan watches Rick's relaxed shoulders shrug in the confines of his blazer, smiles and looks straight ahead. "Yeah, that's coz you're different too. You're not as annoying like this. There then?" He suggests, pointing at a hotdog vendor across the street. 

"Not very romantic.. " Rick squints, shading his eyes from the sun with his palm. "Anyway, wasn't it one like that you said you got food poisoning from that time? You said I had to bring you breakfast in bed or you'd kill me?"

"Yeah. Think that backfired."

"Why?"

"Coz you actually did bring me breakfast in bed. Couldn't persuade you to put on a nurses uniform and get in with me."

Rick grins and carries on walking. "You should have said. Might have just done that." Vyvyan keeps up, smiling through chewing his lip. "Let's keep going, eh? Apparently there's some nice places to eat around this corner here. I did some research." 

"Swot." Vyvyan smiles sheepishly to himself, his usual urge to tease his companion all but settled by the reassurance of Rick's genuine smile. He'd grown rather fond of that smile - the way it lit up Rick's face like the sun, not that it needed to be said. They were both more relaxed than they had been in a long time. He didn't have to pretend anymore. "Alright. You pick then if you think you know best." He jokes, giving Rick's arm a nudge with his elbow, barging him headfirst into the window of one of the many tattoo studios. This time Rick stops to regain his posture and stares into the glass.

"You think we should finish our date by getting matching tattoos?"

"Yeah. Well, you can. Get my name on your forehead. That's one way we can break it to the others.."

" _Property Of Vyvyan,_ " Rick grins, "or _Vyvyan Was Here!_ "

"If you want 'Vyvyan Was Here' you should get it done on your bum instead."

"Vyvyan, shhh! You can't say that, it's indecent!" Rick gasps, nudging him back.

"Didn't hear you complaining last night. Come on, and hurry up and pick somewhere will you, I'm bloody starving!"

They continue to make their way along the street, weaving through the bustling commuters and talented buskers as if they're the only two there. With the hum of the market filling his ears and his newly established  _boyfriend_ by his side, Rick can't wipe the smile off his face. It was all kind of.. perfect.

Except...

Rick brushes it off as nothing at first, but then Vyvyan does it again. 

And again. 

Rick has to check a couple of times to be sure he isn't imagining it. 

As they're walking, just for a split second, so quick that anyone but Rick would miss it, Vyvyan keeps glancing sideways at him. 

Definitely. 

Not just looking at him and catching his eye every so often. No, that was normal. But glancing nervously in his direction before flicking his eyes away and then looking off into the distance with a sombre expression. Then looking again after a moment before averting his gaze once more, faking a smile in an attempt to show nothing was wrong. 

But something is wrong. 

Rick knows there is. 

He knew Vyvyan better than he knew himself, especially now.

"Hold on a minute," He reaches out and pulls Vyvyan's arm, slowing them both to a standstill. "Is everything alright?"

"Yeah." Vyvyan replies, looking off in the distance and pretending to read the signs on shops across the pavement.

"You sure?"

"Yeah. Never better," He meets Rick's concerned eyes again quickly before staring back at the ground, "it's just..."

"Go on." Rick says. Vyvyan looks up and then awkwardly away again, avoiding his eyes and doing the sort of face he always did when he was trying to act like he was in control of the situation but actually wasn't. The same as this morning when he had woken up with Rick unknowingly spooning him in bed. "You can tell me, it's fine. If you wanna go back or something before the others get suspicious then we can.." he continues, stepping back ever so slightly to give Vyvyan some space. As much as Vyvyan would hate to admit it, this was all new to him too. He was allowed to be just as terrified.

"No, not that," Vyvyan feels as if he's about to die. Why the hell didn't he just carry on walking? Maybe he should just snog Rick in the middle of the high street. That would certainly be easier than what he's about to do. "Shouldn't we be, um you know," He looks down at Rick's hand resting freely at his side and sighs in defeat.

"What?"

"Shouldn't we be holding hands?" He says at last, finally looking into Rick's soft eyes properly. 

"Oh. I see." Rick smiles, slightly taken aback to say the least. "Well, I suppose we could, if you like."

"Only if you want to!" Vyvyan splutters and nearly chokes. "Just I saw a couple back there, and no one cares here so we don't have to hide, so I thought maybe you'd like it and expect me to now that we're officially a - oh god, actually never mind." He finishes, mumbling the rest, the slightest pink of the sunburn on his cheeks roaring into a furious blush.

"Oh Vyv," Rick whispers, his insides melting at the punks panicked expression. "Of course I want to. I just didn't think."

"Hardly unusual for you then.."

"Come here." Rick tuts but moves closer, taking Vyvyan's hand in his, slowly interlocking their fingers and starting to rub small reassuring circles into his palm with his thumb.

Vyvyan stares down at their hands, relieved that Rick is left handed and that he is right, so they'd each be able to eat dinner and smoke afterwards without an excuse to let go.

For a second, Rick worries if perhaps Vyvyan thinks this behaviour is too girlie or stupid. Should he let go? Laugh it off? Carry on walking on his own? 

"Is this alright?" He asks casually, leading Vyvyan to the doorway of a Jazz café and stopping outside.

"What this place, or this?"

Rick grins at the brief, firm squeeze of his hand. He should have done this hours ago. "Both."

"Yeah," Vyvyan nods, the corners of his lips betraying him as they purse into a wide, beaming smile. "Yeah, this is perfectly alright."


	11. You're Always In My Hair.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Little scene inspired by the episode Bomb. 
> 
> Rick is trying to enjoy a peaceful Sunday morning shower when a silly argument with Vyvyan changes everything.
> 
> *pre-relationship fluffy drabble*

"Pollution.." Rick breathes, studying his chin up close in the mirror. Thankfully no more breakouts had reared their ugly heads during the night and he wipes his fogged reflection, grinning brightly at himself, "..all around."

Being faced with remarkably clear skin for a change was reason enough to greet the day with a smile, but so was the opportunity for a bit of impromptu free-fall in the bathroom while the rest of the world was asleep. There was a lot to be said for choosing to stay sober and waking up hangover free, and going by how late the others had gone to bed last night, he imagines he'll have the house to himself for a good couple of hours yet. 

Great!

He takes off his vest and kicks off his trousers - ignoring the cracked tiles by his feet and the definite Vyvyan-shaped, size nine boots-worth of a hole that Jerzei will no doubt charge them through the roof for.

Just great!

He tuts, letting the first of the hot water run slowly through his braids as he sings out into the steam. Nothing was going to spoil the tranquillity of this relaxing Sunday morning - not even the crumbling reminder of the punks spiteful temper.

"Sometimes up.. Sometimes down.. But always around.." Rick really ought to write this one down once he gets dry and dressed and wakes Neil to make breakfast. "Are you coming to my town, or am I coming to yours?" The shower hisses in the background as he grapples around for the soap. "We're on different buses, pollution. But we're both using petrol.."

_"Oi! Keep the noise down, you arsehole! It's not even ten o'clock!"_

Rick sighs. The peace was good while it lasted but it was never for long.

"This is all your fault, Vyvyan." He yells back. "If you hadn't kicked a huge great gaping hole through the wall then you wouldn't be able to hear me when I'm in the shower, would you?"

_"Had to. SPG was bursting for a piss. Had to get him to the lavvy urgently. Little bastard had my last can.."_

"Honestly, Vyvyan. Arsehole, bastard and piss at this time of day. And why is my shampoo empty?"

_"Shhh! I am trying to sleep!"_

"Did you use it?"

_"Might have done."_

"Well I have a good mind to come over there, drag you out of your bed and ruddy-well.. CALL THE POLICE! This bottle was full no less than three days ago."

_"Is there a point to this useless information, Rick?"_

"Yes! It's called stealing!"

_"So? Should have nailed it down then, shouldn't you? Like the plates on the dinner table. Or you should have put labels on all your girly possessions like you have in your dress. 'Ricks stupid, poncey shampoo. Hands off.'"_

He rolls his eyes and tries to remain calm. "And did you really have to use every last drop? Looks like you rinsed it clean."

_"Yeah. Ran out of mine."_

"No you haven't. I saw nearly a full bottle in the cupboard just then."

_"Then use that instead then and shut your face!"_

"Why didn't _you_ use it? Fascist!" He yells, aiming his anger through the wall, straight for Vyvyan's head. "You're deliberately trying to provoke me aren't you, Vyvyan? Trying to disturb me when I'm alone in the bathroom and in the middle of a fantastic poem." He hears Vyvyan huff out another laugh and frowns. "Well I'm not having it! Are you listening? You can ruddy-well buy me a new one!" 

_"Not trying to provoke you. Trying to sleep."_

The voice is faint and much softer. 

_"Yours smells better, that's all."_

"What? What is that supposed to mean?"

_"Doesn't mean anything. Forget it."_

"No go on, like what? What does it smell like?" His own voice is softer too and he's stood so still with his ear pressed against the tiles he can actually hear Vyvyan shrug. 

_"Like you."_

Vyvyan soon sounds as if he's sleeping again and the peaceful silence resumes. Rick continues to stare at the wall way after the water tank is empty and the shower's gone cold.


	12. And So To Bed.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Going to bed fluff with a tiny sprinkling of angst.

Rick wakes up much warmer than he'd remembered when he'd dozed off earlier in front of the telly and he rubs his eyes, noticing immediately that the volume had been turned up and the channel had been switched over from his earlier BBC news. Something loud and obnoxious is blasting from the corner of the drawing room instead, and there's a sudden snuffling sound as the prone figure reclining on the sofa next to him stirs. 

Vyvyan's head is lolled heavy on his shoulder and he's breathing through his nose in not-so-little snores. His hair ruffled out of its normal, meticulous spikes somehow softens his harsh features in the red glow of the television. Rick reaches to smooth it back into place. He'd meant to wait up for Vyvyan after he came home from the pub but he'd probably passed out long before the so-called barmaid rang the bell for last orders. Judging from the dark circles under Vyvyan's eyes, his night had been equally as draining.

"Vyv?"

Vyvyan's brow furrows, his unconscious mind stubbornly rebelling at being so rudely disturbed.

"Come on, Vyv. Time for bed."

Vyvyan sighs, his eyelids fluttering open for a moment before falling back shut. "I'm fine here. And stay still will you!" 

Vyvyan snuggles back into him, his voice low and scratchy like it gets when he chain-smokes. "No, come on. Come here." Rick jumps to his feet, hauling Vyvyan up by his arms. "No sleeping on the sofa for you tonight, young man. You get all cranky after more than three Babyshams. Especially in these circumstances."

"Yeah and after more than five, I get a wacking great pain in the bum!"

"Oi!" Rick grins and pokes at Vyvyan's side, causing him to vocalize an inarticulate grumble as Rick steers him towards the stairs: up every two and down one.

"I'm perfectly capable of walking all by myself!"

"Of course you are. And that's exactly what you say every time you have a drink with your mother. Took us over an hour to peel you off the kitchen floor last time and clean up the Ajax. Come on, nearly there." He drags Vyvyan by the waist, stumbling them both into the banister, the offer of his hand the only thing going without protest.

"I don't need you to mother me."

"I know."

Vyvyan grins as Rick guides him in the direction of the bathroom and makes swift work of his clothes.

Standing in his bare feet and underpants, rinsing the taste of God knows how many shots of Dutch courage from his mouth, he trudges down the hall and falls clumsily on the bed. Rick passes him a pair of relatively clean pyjama bottoms before heading into the bathroom himself.

After spending a few minutes on his nightly routine (checking his toothpaste isn't tippex, quick flannel on face, securing both braids) Rick pads back in the bedroom, and, to his amusement, even in a half-asleep state, finds Vyvyan bent over his desk, lining up two perfectly executed roll-ups for them for the morning. He watches Vyvyan sprawl out on the bed, pyjama pants low on his hips. "So.. how was it then?" 

Vyvyan takes a few gulps from the glass of water held out to him as the light is shut off and Rick climbs in bed by his side. He fumbles towards him and smacks a loud, wet kiss on his lips. "Oh not bad, you know. Awkward as fuck and expensive. The usual."

"Mmh?" There's a moment of surprise as Vyvyan intensifies the kiss despite his obvious exhaustion, humming in the back of Rick's throat and rolling his hips against his as his fingers skim roughly down his pants. "Wait!" Rick takes a breath and holds him still.

"What?" 

"It's not that I'm saying no, but.."

"You're saying no."

"No!"

"Say it louder why don't you so the others can hear you rejecting me too."

Rick sighs, cursing the day they had ever set foot in the Kebab-and-ruddy-Calculator as he seeks comfort in his trembling boyfriends arms. "I'm not. You know I'm not. Just not when you're so.."

"Don't say it. Dont even think it!" Vyvyan snaps, jabbing Rick with his elbow. Rick doesn't move.

"Wasn't going to."

"I am _not_ upset." 

Now isn't the time, but Rick quivers all over when Vyvyan's mouth finds his neck and his pelvis thrusts hungrily against him. "I think we're both a bit.. tired to do anything tonight, that's all."

"I'm not. I'm not tired.." Vyvyan mumbles as he starts to drift off again, breathing slower as he presses another kiss to the corner of Rick's mouth, his own missing the target. Rick tucks him under the sheets and rolls him backwards in the pillow as he fades into unconsciousness, his eyes closing once more when Rick curls up on his chest. 

"Whatever you say, Vyv. Prove me wrong in the morning."


	13. The Last Taboo.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Little established relationship drabble :)

"Bloody hell! Take it easy." Vyvyan gasps, his eyes fixed on Rick, his body hanging on his every move. "Don't be so rough. God, no.. You're grinding - stop, stop it! Fuck!"

"Sorry! Do you want to do the last bit yourself?" 

"No I want you to do it. Carry on."

"Well you'll just have to trust me." 

"I do trust you. That's why you're here."

"Good. Shut up then." Rick snaps in frustration. He takes a deep breath, adjusts his legs, glances at Vyvyans flushed, sweat-mottled cheek and calmly tries it again. "Like that?"

"Uhuh," Vyvyan averts his eyes so Rick doesn't feel so self-conscious. "Now keep it going. You're doing fine, y'know, for such a pathetically girly virgin."

"I'm not stictly a virgin now, am I?" Rick frowns. "Not exactly words of encouragement either. You could try and be a little bit more nice."

"Shh! Watch what you're doing for Christ sake!"

Rick bites his inner lip to keep from saying something he'll regret, focusing on keeping each flowing movement steady. Vyvyan is really starting to sweat now and it's much more satisfying than he'd imagined.

"And relax your hands please! You're not peeling oranges for fuck sake!"

"I'm trying my best. I don't know how hard I'm supposed to grip."

"Well not that hard. You'll snap the bloody thing off!"

Rick eases up for a second, brushing beads of sweat from his eyes. "I've told you I've never done this before."

"Really? You can't tell."

"Oh just.. be quiet and let me get on with it." Rick mumbles, resisting the urge to swear at Vyvyan's sarcasm and stick his tongue out.

"I am letting you get on with it! You might want to speed up at some point, too." Vyvyan soon commands. "Or else we'll be here all day. And at least act like you're interested in it instead of being bored to tears. Most people would kill to be where you are. Think yourself lucky I allow you anywhere near it."

Rick does as he's told, hot sweat prickling the back of his neck and both armpits. 

"Uhuh.. Now turn around."

"What, now?!"

"Yes now! You have to learn to do as I say. Right.. there. Yeah. Yeah.. That's good."

Rick shifts, breathes, his nerves still dangling on the edge of _I can't believe I'm doing this!_ This isn't exactly how he'd planned to spend the day but it's pretty unbelievable that it's happening at all. Vyvyan had surprised him in the middle of the kitchen! Insisted they got down to it immediately after breakfast, and the look of utter shock on both their housemates faces would surely go down in history. Deep down, Rick knows Vyvyan is right, though he'd never admit it. This is long overdue for them both.

"Okay so I may have overreacted slightly before. You're a fucking maniac when you get going, I'm not used to you like this. You go like the bloody clappers!" Ricks grin spreads into a genuine burst of laughter and Vyvyan finally allows himself to relax. 

"Wonder where I get that from."

"Good point."

"It feels really good though. I can see why you enjoy it."

"Knew you would." Vyvyan smiles back, squeezing his hand around Rick's encouragingly. "Now, when you're ready, slow down and ease it in gently.. right.. uh.. there.."

"But what if I scratch it."

"If you scratch it, I'll kill you."

"Okay, okay. Don't pressurise me. And don't look! I can't concentrate with your eyes on me."

"Fine. Sometime this century, then." Vyvyan says, letting go of Rick's fist and scrunching his eyes, bracing himself for the worst as Rick judders them forward and drives straight over the kerb.

He must have been stupidly drunk to agree to do this, and even more stupidly in love than he thought, coz Rick in the drivers seat of his beloved Ford Anglia is going to be the death of him.


	14. You're My Favourite Mistake *

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rick is having a moment of panic, and Vyvyan won't quit staring at him. He isn't ready for this: a serious grown up relationship - waking up in his arch nemesis' bed, coz what will everyone think!
> 
> Morning after fic. Fluff. * for smut.

"What? Why are you looking at me like that?" Rick asks, catching Vyvyan's leering stare. It's the third time he'd woken up in the punks bedroom this week but today is a first; they're both completely naked. What little modesty Vyvyan has left is covered by the blanket Rick is sprawled out on top of. He feels exposed, uneasy, and so deliciously shagged-out that he doesn't even know where his pants are. The fact that Vyvyan now has his eyes locked on him as he leans over the edge of the bed to check is doing nothing to ease his discomfort.

"Coz I can."

"Well stop. Stop it, and stop staring at my bottom!"

"No." Vyvyan grins wickedly and keeps right on doing it. 

"Fine, I'll just leave then. You can't stare at me if I'm not here." He gets up and dashes to the bathroom; the one place he's guaranteed a little bit of privacy at least. He turns on the shower and steps under the water, like it'd somehow erase the debauchery of last night - not that he wants to completely erase it. It just seems the right and proper thing to do given the harsh light of day. 

As the water rolls off his body, he feels some of the tension ebb. He has no idea what he's going to do about any of this, what he's going to tell Mike or Neil, or how he's ever going to erase what is definitely the best shag of his life so far, because last night had been truly spectacular. 

Deciding he's had enough inner turmoil to last a lifetime, Rick shuts off the shower and steps out, shivering as the cool air hits and shudders all the way down his spine. He wipes steam from the mirror and studies himself. He doesn't look any different than before, before he and Vyvyan had.. happened. 

He dries himself off quickly and puts on a pair of clean pants, knowing he has to venture back out into the hallway eventually. He wraps a towel around his waist and opens the door, only to be confronted by Vyvyan right away.

"It's boring y'know."

"What is?" He asks, grasping his towel and using it as some kind of shield from Vyvyan's gaze. It's no use hiding. Those eyes had been everywhere on him and although he's embarrassed about it, Rick can't help but think it a tiny bit sexy.

"Your little early morning freak-outs. Bo-ring!" Vyvyan answers, huffing out a long breath as if he's bored to tears.

"Well I'm very sorry if I'm boring you, Vyvyan!" Rick bites, pushing his way past towards his room to get dressed. Vyvyan grabs his arm and pulls him into a skin-tight embrace. 

"It's predictable and annoying and very boring considering we both know how much fun _you_ had last night."

"I think we both had fun last night, Vyv, if I'm not mistaken. Numerous times." That earns Rick another knee-trembling smile. He can feel himself blush as Vyvyan presses against him, rock hard again - the roughness of denim just abrasive enough to stir up the desire in his loins. "But it was a mistake, wasn't it? You did say that sleeping with me was a mistake, didn't you?"

"Yeah I did. All that sleeping was definitely a mistake. You on the other hand," Vyvyan leans forward and pecks him chastly on the lips, "are most definitely not." Rick kisses him back, opening his mouth and allowing Vyvyan's tongue to flick against his and explore to it's hearts content. He doesn't think about how anarchic it is to be good and properly snogged by Vyvyan out of the confides of a bed, smack bang in the middle of a communal living space. When his towel is pushed down and Vyvyan digs his hands in his bum, he doesn't think about anything at all.

"Why the sudden dash to the lavvy then? Had enough now? Want out?"

"No," Rick says, "of course not. I'm glad we did.. what we did. But it's kind of.. overwhelming, and I need time to recuperate and gather my thoughts."

"You brought this on yourself you know."

"How did I?"

"Well you were the one screaming, 'Harder!' - not me. Shouldn't provoke me so much and I might take it easier on you." Vyvyan tries to innocently shrug, but it isn't innocent at all. It's downright filthy. 

"Alright. It's my fault then. There. Are you happy?"

"It's just your stupid morals getting in the way, that's all. You'll get over it."

"What would you know? You don't even have morals, Vyvyan."

"I do so! My morals may not be the same as your stupid morals, but that doesn't mean I don't still have them. Anyway, that's beside the point. What I really want to know is why you're picking fights and having an internal girly crisis when we could be having sex."

"I don't think that's such a good idea. Coz the others will be up soon, and.. I don't think we should."

"Good. Yeah. Me either." 

Vyvyan struts off to his bedroom, sits on the bed and stares at him again - the open door a blatant and obvious invitation. 

Rick takes a step closer, and another. He could go in there. It's perfectly safe. He could just go in there, gather up all his scattered clothes and leave. Vyvyan can't stop him. He's a fully grown up adult who can do whatever he damn well pleases.

"I'm going back to bed. You've worn me out, I'm bloody knackered. Tell your conscious to keep it down if you carry on arguing with yourself, yeah?"

Rick doesn't answer back. He has to think logically and get his head out of the clouds before he tackles this one.

How many more times could they continue to get away with this? How long until Vyvyan really did get bored of him and called the whole thing quits? There's a very a good chance this could be the last time, so Rick takes a final step forward as Vyvyan pats and rubs the sheets, his eyes still closed. Cocky bastard. Oh who was he kidding? This was never going to be a one time thing. Vyvyan isn't the type to give up on something he wants, and there isn't enough tippex in the world to erase this particular mistake. And it is a mistake, Rick has no doubt about that… but for some sick and twisted reason he wants it now more than ever. God, how he _wants._

As Vyvyan sinks into him, his eyes never stray from his - not even as they both moan at the sudden penetration and lightning-quick slip of lube. 

Vyvyan begins thrusting at a maddeningly slow pace, their instant connection and intense eye contact only adding an extra layer of intimacy that Rick isn't sure he's ready for, but he doesn't look away. "You're staring.. at me.. again," he gasps, his fingers clawing and digging into Vyvyan's taut upper arms. 

"Yeah I know."

"Then why.. What.. Why are you.. looking.." he can't speak; Vyvyan's hips are relentless. He doesn't need to say it anyway, they're far too connected for something as trivial as words. Vyvyan moans again, grabbing and tilting his chin closer before bringing their lips together in an extremely hard kiss.

"Coz I still can't believe you're here."


	15. Warm Me Up.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Vyvyan, this is _my_ bed, in _my_ bedroom, and if you insist on staying here then leave me alone and go to sleep. I am _not_ your hot water bottle!"
> 
> "Yes you are."
> 
>  
> 
> Had a bit of a writing break so starting back with a bit of pre-relationship fluff :)

"What are you doing?!" Rick jumps, alarmed by the sudden silhouette standing and _stripping_ by the foot of his bed. He knows full well who the staggering figure is and doesn't need to turn on his bedside lamp for confirmation, he doesn't dare as Vyvyan pulls back the covers and climbs in by his side. "Vyvyan, get out!"

"Shh! People are sleeping."

"I know. I was one of them!"

"Shh." Vyvyan shushes him again, bunching an arm around him, trapping his face in the sheets.

"W-what do you think you're doing?" He repeats, suddenly wide awake at such an unprovoked attack.

"What does it look like?"

"Looks like you're trying to smother me in my sleep."

"Well I'm not." 

Vyvyan releases his grip and snuggles closer, his breath warm against his back as Rick shivers momentarily from the flash of hot and cold. 

"Relax. Not gonna hurt you. Just wanna sleep."

"Why?"

"Coz I'm tired." 

"Wait. Don't." Rick feels the panic in his chest rise as Vyvyan wriggles snug against his backside, searching and stealing the last of his precious body heat.

"Cold innit?"

"Yes!" He huffs, his breath visible in the dark, "my radiators broken."

"I know. I'm the one that broke it."

Vyvyan attempts to get comfortable in the most inappropriate way possible, all arms and legs flush against him - not that any of this is considered appropriate to Rick. "Stop it. Get off me! I thought you said you weren't going to bed tonight."

"I meant my own bed. Probably should have specified." Vyvyan whispers, not stopping the physical onslaught and wrapping an arm roughly around Rick's waist, his calloused hand slinking up under his pyjama top and clutching his chest, squeezing greedily.

"Vyvyan, this is _my_ bed," he whispers back, "in _my_ bedroom, and if you insist on staying here then leave me alone and go to sleep. I am _not_ your hot water bottle!" Rick practically squeals when Vyvyan's hand moves lower. He desperately wishes he has the nerve to shove him off, push him away and kick him to the floor.

"Yes you are." Vyvyan says, pressing cold feet into his calf muscles, giggling in his hair in an almost childlike manner - which is decidedly more unnerving than it is cute and cuddly as Vyvyan shoves his naked frame against his hips, his bent knee and what Rick can only assume is his crotch rocking solidly against his bum.

" _Fuck!_ "

"Whatever you say. Thought you wanted to go to sleep?"

"Shut up!"

"Whatsamatter? Am I making you angry?"

"No. Not angry." Rick is frustrated alright. Frustrated that the boy who insisted on making his life a total living hell in any way he saw fit, saw fit to do this now. Here. In the middle of the night when he's tired and groggy and weary with sleep. And Rick is frustrated that despite how much he genuinely hates him, he can't help but feel giddy when Vyvyan is this close.

"Alright. Have it your way, you girl. I'll leave you alone."

Rick sighs, deciding he's too tired to put up a fight this time. Just this once. "You do have your own bed, y'know."

"Yeah but I don't like mine."

"Why not?" 

"I think you know.."

"I think I know too, but I've been really wrong about this stuff in the past.."

"How much clearer do you want then, huh?" 

Vyvyan trailed off, sliding his palm further down his pants and digging his nails in lightly below his belly button. Rick sucks in a surprised breath and gasps, his body responding against his will. Maybe it isn't just exhaustion. Vyvyan's hand is soft. Still. Still causing gooseflesh to prickle on his stomach. Maybe they both don't want to fight anymore. "Vyvyan?"

"Yes, Rick."

"Don't be a tease now."


	16. Drive Me Crazy*

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rick smokes a little something he shouldn't at a house party and Vyvyan comes to his rescue, again. 
> 
> Pre-relationship fluff and a * for smut.

Rick is asleep in the passenger side, his head lolling back and forth from the window and onto Vyvyans shoulder - strands of sweaty hair sticking to his forehead and lips slightly parted.

"Bastard." Vyvyan doesn't take his eyes from the road as he shoves his face flat to the glass. "Get off me, you little fungus!"

"Mmm, you, hmm, you wanna fight about it, Vyvyan?"

"Yeah," he grins, "as soon as you're awake I'm gonna knock you unconscious. I should've just left you to die in a ditch somewhere. Loser!" He doesn't mean it though - never could mean it, and that thought makes him angry again.

The road ahead is deserted and there's no one else but them for miles. It's a clear night and you could see every star in the sky, but Vyvyan is in no condition to appreciate the scenery.

All he does is slow a little to check on Rick. For a moment, fascinated by the way the passing streetlights hit his features and blur the imperfections on his face. (His bloody stupid face!) He tears his gaze away so he can focus on the road and stew over the evening as Rick falls against him again and starts to drool on his shoulder.

 

~

 

"Vyv, you dancing?"

"You asking?"

"I'm asking."

"Well piss off!" 

Vyvyan wastes no time pushing Ricks offering hand away before it reaches out to him - before Rick embarrasses him any further in front of their entire year. What was Rick thinking, asking him something as blatant as that? In the middle of the living room? When there's about a million witnesses?! (Okay, maybe twenty or thirty witnesses) but obviously Vyvyan is going to say no. Vyvyan does not _dance!_

"All right, man. There's no need to get so heavy! I'll dance with you if you like?"

Vyvyan stands still, his mind reeling, watching the scene play out in front of him and nursing his pathetically weak shandy as one of Neils hippy friends yells through the hammering music and ushers the anarchist away. Rick had the blunt in his hand and was grinning at him like a lunatic before Vyvyan could tell him it wasn't a cigarette. Rick was so naive he probably wasn't aware whose house this was, let alone the illegal substance he would definitely disapprove of and was just about to smoke. Vyvyan had picked a hell of a night to be the designated driver!

"Give it here, you girl. You don't wanna do that." A bemused chuckle escapes his mouth as Rick sways and staggers and bangs into him again. However entertaining it would be to watch such a control freak like Rick get high, he knew Rick would secretly hate it. "Or do you?"

"I might. Ooh is it one of Neils naughty ones? What's it gunna do t'me?" Ricks voice had dropped an octave from choking on his first drag and a shiver predictably runs down Vyvyans back. "You don't wanna dance wi' me, Vyv?" _Shrug. Inhale. Exhale. Cough._ "Then I'll find somebody who does! Come on Melamine."

"It's Melody, actually."

"Whatever.."

The next he knows, Rick is gone, sauntering off into the kitchen hand in hand with the girl, nothing but a cloud of familiar smoke in their wake, and Vyvyan does nothing but eye the crowd that he so obviously attracts. Because obviously the girls here see Rick as one of their own and non threatening. There couldn't possibly be more to it than that. Because Rick wasn't attractive in the slightest, was he?

An hour later and he's still entranced, watching Rick swirling about, dancing like an idiot in his too-tight jeans. Then Rick grabs the girl by the hips and kisses her, his tongue trailing over her lips when all the noise and music stops.

"Bloody hell!"

That's just about all he can take.

It's later now - hours later, or it could be a couple of minutes, he doesn't know. Time is going too fast and too slow at the same time so Vyvyan slips outside to get away from the crowd.

He hadn't seen Rick squatting and retching in the flowerbed until it's too late to make his escape.

"You following me?"

"No!"

"Yes you are," Rick is holding the window ledge for balance and doesn't bother to turn his head to look at him but that's okay. Vyvyan isn't looking at him either. And then Rick is whispering in his ear, lips brushing his ear-lobe as he slurs, "you were watching me dancing. Saw you."

"I was watching the girl."

"Yeah right."

"Yes. Right." He says, denying the accusation whilst patting Rick on the back. "Puke if you're going to. Better out than in."

"I see you, Vyvyan. Ya don't fool me.." Rick stumbles and hiccups, spilling the rest of his drink down his shirt. Vyvyan doesn't know what Rick is insinuating but he'd better change the subject, and quick.

"She left you then?" He asks, "gone to henna her hair and dance naked around her cauldron?"

"I dunno," Rick shrugs again. "She said she'd gone to get us some more drinks. But I think I've had enough. I think I wanna go home and I'm gonna be sick. Why is everything spinning? Help me."

"God sake. Such a baby!" Vyvyan grabs hold of Rick as he slumps in his arms. He supposed his snogging companion was sort of pretty, for a hippy, but she was much more Neils type surely. All Vyvyan could think was how he hated the thought of her eyes on what should have been his, and her hands and her lips and her..  Ugh! It was enough to put anyone off the frivolities of a house party. Rick wasn't allowed to get lucky, especially before he did.

As if Ricks ego wasn't big enough already!

There was a part of Vyvyan that wanted to lash out and punch a window, or grab hold of Rick by the scruff of the throat and give him a damn good shake. He did neither. He simply slung Rick over his shoulder like he was carrying a body bag and threw him headfirst into his car.

 

~

 

He opens the door to Ricks bedroom and they both go inside. He had to keep an eye on that bastard or he'd probably end up choking on his own vomit. Vyvyan doesn't want to end up with an actual dead body on his hands, and he really doesn't want to think about where Rick would end up if he left and went back to the party. Probably on the floor with his head in the toilet, or worse: tucked up in that bohemian girls bed.

"What you doin'? And where you takin' me?!"

"Sleep it off and shut up." He says, throwing a pillow at Ricks head, resisting the urge to smother him with it.

"Love it when you get all tough," Rick replies with what looks like an inviting quirk of his eyebrow.

"Bed. Now!" He says, not looking at his friend (and mortal enemy.)

Before he can turn to leave, Rick is back on his feet, grabbing his face with both hands and kissing him furiously. And for the umpteenth time that night, Vyvyan pushes him away.

"But I'm not tired,"

"You're stoned out of your box, is what you are. Go to sleep!" He growls.

"Only if you kiss me again." 

"What's got into you?!" 

"Nothing." Another spectacular hiccup and Rick steps closer, swaying as he places one hand on his chest. Vyvyan looks up and, for a very brief second, is lost in those fucking beautiful eyes. Rick is still grinning at him like the arrogant bastard he is.

And Vyvyan is only human.

So he leans in at the same time Rick does and Rick traps him with caged arms against the wall. This time he doesn't push Rick away. This time he opens his mouth and fully kisses back as arms twine around his neck and they stumble blindly towards the bed.

They're grabbing and touching and Ricks hands are all over him at once. It feels strange and _good_ and even better when Rick moans on his tongue. Then Rick is underneath him and Vyvyan on top, and then they're grinding on each other before he can even think what to do. He can't keep from twisting his fingers in Ricks hair or sucking on his neck whilst Rick groans out obscenities he'd never once heard him say.

Ricks hand is on his back, his nails digging and scratching in his skin - when did Vyvyan lose his shirt? (More to the point, when did Rick lose his jeans and pants??) and Ricks other hand is reaching down, guiding Vyvyans around his cock.

"Do I wanna do this?"

"Certainly feels like you do." Vyvyan smirks, his grip tightening around the girth and sliding slick in the wetness. Rick was impressively hard and really quite daring, for a virgin, and Vyvyan can't will his own erection away, much less grind it against a half-naked Rick. His hand would just have to do. He knew he was behaving like a fumbling teenage boy, but his mind is running on the fumes of Ricks breath and both his control and patience are wearing dangerously thin. What he needs the most, and what Rick needs the most right now, is a good nights sleep. Maybe tomorrow he wouldn't be so annoyed, but maybe tomorrow Rick would manage to control himself. 

Not a risk he's willing to take.

Vyvyan reaches down with his fist, wraps his palm around the base and strokes hard, and just as predicted: Rick is soon a sweaty, mumbling mess. The hand in Vyvyans hair slips round the back of his neck and a string of profanities rush out of Rick: Vyvyans name an interlude to every third or fourth _"fuck,"_

He's glad he hadn't stopped this time; he couldn't miss this - Rick coming undone at the work of his own hand. He couldn't miss this beautiful fucking idiot's eyes roll as he wrings a trembling orgasm out of him and Rick spills all over his fist. It's way better than spilling his blood. He couldn’t miss the way Ricks cheeks glow and his expression relaxes into one that no one else had seen before. No one else deserved to see this anyway. Vyvyan was the only one who ever bothered to truly look out for Rick, and he should never have turned him down.

For once, he isn't told to move or clean up the mess he'd made. Rick just stays silently gasping beneath him so he closes his eyes, sleep clawing at the back of his consciousness, and neither says a word as he sneaks an arm up around his shoulder and lies on his chest. Rick doesn't respond so Vyvyan doesn't move.

"Go to sleep now, Rick. Think that ought to do it."

The next morning his heart is still beating fast and hard against his rib-cage when he realises he's in Ricks bed. He'd fallen asleep on his chest like a right bloody bum-bag and he doesn't know what to make of last night. 

He doesn't know how to act when Rick wakes up. Should they talk about it? Maybe they should, but he doubts they will. He's still angry, too.

It makes him feel sick when he thinks that all of it was perhaps just the outcome of drugs and alcohol - that perhaps Rick will ignore it or say it was all a mistake. Or maybe Rick won't even remember it. Vyvyan swallows hard. He had known Rick was way under the influence even if he wasn't, so he can't blame him if he has any regrets.

Vyvyan doesn't even know if _he_ wants it to happen again. 

That of course is a lie.

"Hey," 

A tired voice pulls him back to reality. He still can't think what to say. "Hey,"

"Thanks for taking care of me. You didn't have to."

"I know." He's not sure whether he wants to wipe Ricks dirty smile off his face with his fists or his lips. Probably both.

He doesn't know how the hell this is going to continue. He feels a tight knot in his stomach when he thinks about the next step - or the knock-back, still to come. There's so much at stake here. Maybe too much. This can't work out, can it?

All Vyvyan does know is that he's going to take better care of that bastard from now on. And he wants to kiss him again.


	17. Undercover Operation*

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a big slice of sexytimes, coz sometimes it has to be written. 
> 
> *Established (secret) relationship. Vyvyan's pov. Fluffy. Very porny.*

A loud hiss breaks the slick noises from underneath the duvet, followed quickly by a desperate, choked-out sob.

"Mmm, God!"

"Too much?" Asks Vyvyan.

"No," comes the reply. "It's good. Oh God. God! Just give me a - uhh, a second here.."

Vyvyan grins. For such a liberal atheist anarchist, Rick sure finds religion pretty bloody quickly sprawled on his back with his legs in the air. "Shhh," he soothes, "I'm not gonna move. Take as long as you want." He withdraws slightly to drape the duvet completely over their heads. The breathy noises beneath him are making him ache to thrust back in, but it's too dark to see Rick's face so he's probably safe to draw this out a bit longer. Going by how much Rick is already sweating, babbling and swearing, it won't be long before he can really start to move. He manoeuvres slowly backwards, listening to muffled moans echoing around his bare floorboards and crumbling four walls, feeling the crushing, debilitating heat enveloping his cock slowly start to subside, until at long last Rick's clammy hands attack him like a spoilt child reaching for sweets. 

"Move. Now! Need you.. Oh Jesus! Need you to move.."

"What's the magic word?"

"Please!" Rick gasps, "please, please, please Vyvyan!"

"Well it's about time." Everything becomes suddenly wetter as Vyvyan starts to move, building slow driving thrusts into Rick's pliant body - testing the water before he dives in head first. 

"Uh, yeah. Yes! Like that!"

The solid squeeze of Rick's muscles sends prickles down his spine. Being allowed this deep inside another human being - and that human being finally being Rick - makes Vyvyan feel ridiculously giddy and ridiculously vulnerable at the same time. He'll do just about anything Rick wants when he's inside of him like this. It's different to the way a hand or mouth feels around his cock - even though he's only ever had the pleasure of Rick's for comparison (that's all he needs.) And Vyvyan wants to look down and watch where they’re connected, but it's pitch black under here so imagination's all he's got.

He thinks about Rick's pale, lithe body undulating beneath him. Plump inner thighs spreading and locking around his waist as hips bump and rock and grind together simultaneously. Then Vyvyan thinks about how good it feels to be this buried in Rick when he makes him come with his cock. "Shit!" He grits his teeth and Rick shushes him quietly, pulling him down on his slack lips for a kiss.

"Eww! I can taste your sweat!"

"I can taste yours too," Says Vyvyan, wiping his sweat-moustache on the pillow before pressing his mouth back on Rick's. His hands push and pull in Rick's hair as they kiss and kiss and even his scalp is saturated. The way he breaks a sweat so easily shouldn't be such a turn-on. But it is. 

Fuck! It _really_ is.

For his part, Vyvyan would prefer to leave the lights on and witness everything - watch Rick as he melts helplessly into his sheets, but he does seem a little shy and he doesn't want to scare him off. They need to carry on doing this until the very end of time, coz _fuck yes_ it's fucking amazing!

His hips ache to go faster and pin Rick to the mattress so he leans to put his weight on one hand, yanking the spare pillow above Rick's head with the other to shield him from the headboard if he gets too carried away. Knocking your stupidly innocent boyfriend unconscious in the throes of ecstasy isn't a good idea, and Vyvyan had learnt that the hard way since their nasty little accident last week. Rick hadn't sneaked into his bedroom ever since and he intends to make it up to him tonight. Vyvyan dips his head further under the duvet and sucks on his neck - knowing it's going to leave a mark above the collar of his shirt even though it's too dark to tell exactly where.

"Wait.. Don't!"

"You, uhh, you don't like it?"

"I like it. But you shouldn't - we shouldn't.. This is meant to b-be a s-secret.."

"Oh. Okay." Vyvyan moves his lips even higher and sinks his teeth in. Rick shivers and clenches tight, trying to hold him still, and the feeling of being so deep and hard and powerless within him is more than Vyvyan can stand. In desperation, he stops biting and blows a raspberry in his skin, and the shriek Rick gives out pleases him immensely, so Vyvyan does it again.

"Stop, stop it! You're getting your spit all over me!"

"Sorry," he says, not very sorry at all.

"Why do you do that when you know it annoys me?"

"Coz I like annoying you." He says, "and I _love_ to feel you squirm."

"You could just ask me to squirm, or beat it out of me instead?" Rick whispers, and after a moment of stillness, groans and shifts his legs, lifting his heels from where they’re digging in the small of Vyvyan's back.

"Getting tired?" He asks, slowing his hips ever so slightly.

"A bit. But no. It's fine.."

"Put your legs down, it's alright. I can still stay inside you." Rick lowers his knees, keeping them splayed, and they remain this way for a while, motionless and silent, kissing until Rick hoists himself higher around his middle and places both hands on his bum - not just inviting Vyvyan to go deeper but forcing him in all the way. "I like when you put your hands on me there," he confesses, gasps, "It feels like you really want me."

"I do want you, silly!" Rick scoffs, "and I was only kidding before. I'd marry your spit, Vyvyan."

The bashful swallow is enough to show him that Rick means this - the sex part anyway - and he kisses at all the soft sounds in his throat, licking and sucking like he's starving. "And I'd marry your sweat. Now enough of the conversational pleasantries, pillow princess. Are you gonna let me shag you properly or what?" Rick nods. Vyvyan can't see his expression when he kneels up and rolls his hips but all things considered, that's probably a good thing. There's no resistance now so he pulls back and slams in roughly, instantly rewarded with a deep and desperate _ohh_ that shoots straight to his cock like a crack of thunder and lightening. "Fuck! Your voice is so hot when it's not whinging."

"Shut up."

"Mmm, yes sir!"

"Such an idiot."

Vyvyan giggles too, forcing Rick's legs apart so he can flex his knees back to the bed and grip hold of his ankles. He manages to hit Rick's prostate a good couple of times before his body sparks into submission and all coherent thought shuts off. He hates the (few) times he comes before Rick (he can't allow for Rick to get bored and look elsewhere) but he's getting pretty skilled in the art of giving blow jobs, so Rick won't have to wait very long for his turn.

"No, like this. I want it like this.." And then as if instinctively, Rick reaches for his hand. "Touch me?" Rick asks, so Vyvyan does. 

For a clear and pure split second, he's caught in the eye of the storm: the duvet shaking, the increasing _tap, tap, tap_ of the headboard against the wall, and there's just the harshness of his breath over the pleading sigh of Rick's.

"Yeah.. oh yeah! Just like that.. God, don't stop! You feel good. So good!"

Rick continues to moan encouragingly, turning his face into his pillow when he comes, and Vyvyan holds himself still as pleasure rips right through his pelvis and Rick clamps around him like a vice. They haven't discussed it as such but he knows Rick likes to feel every twitch, every surge and every warm gush inside him when they have to do it like this and they can't yell out loud. Vyvyan wouldn't care if he woke the entire street but Rick would be angry and possibly stop this, and it's not worth the risk. Nothing is. "Bloody hell.." he sighs, his chest heaving.

"Uhuh. Wow.."

Rick breathes hard, holding him close, and Vyvyan finds he has no objection to lights-off-and-under-the-covers-shagging when it ends with a mutual orgasm like that.

The air under the duvet is damp and they're wet through - glued together with copious amounts of various bodily fluids. Vyvyan feels the loss immediately as he pulls out of Rick's body and lies still by his side, yet the void is compensated for momentarily as he's wrapped in a tangle of trembling limbs.

Soon Rick will kick the covers off to cool down, kiss him again one last time and get up to go back to his own bedroom. Vyvyan hates it more and more when he leaves. Maybe he can make Rick stay here for good someday - Neil does still have those police handcuffs after all. He doesn’t want to say anything too sentimental despite the pain it undoubtedly will cause. He gets to keep everything he loves in his arms for a few more minutes, and that's all that matters for now.


	18. I Hate You, You Hate Me.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It had been a week since Rick had announced the death of his parents to the rest of their stunned housemates and Vyvyan still hadn't addressed it, not out loud anyway. He'd simply stocked up his secret stash of alcohol in an attempt to make Rick 'better,' plied him with vodka most nights to drown both their sorrows and shagged him senseless as per Rick's request. Afterwards Vyvyan always left well alone to retreat to his own bedroom, falling into a drunken, uneasy sleep. 
> 
> Tonight Rick is finally in his bed and Vyvyan doesn't know if he can go through with it when he is clearly so upset. Vyvyan hates himself for it. He might not hate Rick.
> 
> Pre-relationship. Angst. Vyvyan's pov. Hurt/comfort. Fluff.  
> Smut but not SMUT.

Vyvyan wakes with a start at the creak of the strategically broken floorboard and a rush of cold air hits his back: Rick is getting into bed with him - he hadn't come here for a fight - not that they'd done much of that at all lately.

"You took your time, you bastard!"

The covers are repositioned and draped over his feet and he allows himself to relax. He was going to enquire as to why Rick was here but he doesn’t need to; he should have known better. 

It had been a week since Rick had announced the death of his parents to the rest of their stunned housemates and Vyvyan still hadn't addressed it, not out loud anyway. He'd simply stocked up his secret stash of alcohol in an attempt to make Rick 'better,' plied him with vodka most nights to drown both their sorrows and shagged him senseless as per Rick's request. Afterwards Vyvyan always left well alone to retreat to his own bedroom, falling into a drunken, uneasy sleep.

"Can I? Would you mind if I.."

He shrugs nonchalantly and Rick wiggles closer to him underneath the blankets, his bare legs cold, likely from sitting out on the doorstep, smoking his way swiftly through Vyvyan's cigarettes. He wouldn't normally allow Rick anywhere near his possessions but he'd gotten into the habit of leaving them downstairs on purpose, on the windowsill by the back door. Rick always smokes like a chimney when he's anxious or upset - which is most of the time if he's honest. He finds Rick's hands and cups them between his own, trying to lessen the chill. 

"Thanks," Rick sighs, his mouth pressing in the back of his neck, lips cold and shivery and surprisingly pleasant.

"Not a problem."

The kisses start slow, smearing across his skin, and Rick is silent except for his breathing, which is significantly elevated, Vyvyan realises, and really not in a good and hot-and-bothered kind of way. Vyvyan keeps quiet too and waits for those familiar, soft lips to make their first move. And, as usual, he's not kept waiting for long.

They slowly press over his collarbone and throat, up his jawline to his chin, and the first touch of them on his own is unhurried. He releases Rick's hands to allow him on top and tugs urgently at his shirt buttons - so worn they barely take any effort to tear apart. Rick opens his mouth wider and Vyvyan follows suit, licking deeper into his mouth. Rick tastes of toothpaste and vodka (the last of the bloody vodka!) But Vyvyan doesn't mention it. He'll let him off just this once. 

"What do you want?" He asks, fighting the urge to let the unwanted feelings of sympathy make themselves known. Rick had shown all the classic signs of grief. Not eating, not sleeping, not leaving the house despite Vyvyan's various and numerous threats to burn it down..

"Anything. I don't care."

He knows that Rick is drowning in his grief, shifting towards a deep depression. He still refused point blank to talk to Mike and Neil about it, when normally Vyvyan couldn't get him to shut the hell up! 

He hated seeing Rick like that but he couldn't reveal it. All of his instincts told him to go to him, comfort him, tell him that everything was going to be okay as he sat close to him on the sofa. But that could never happen. Vyvyan didn't and could never care about Rick like that, and Rick had to believe that same lie.

He'd check in on him from time to time, those nights Rick didn't want sex - dismantling the booby traps and sneaking unnoticed into his bedroom to watch him tossing and turning, staring at the ceiling, trying to snatch a few restless hours of sleep. If Rick wanted to lie awake in his bed - stare at _his_ ceiling instead - then so be it. Vyvyan wasn't going to question it, and he certainly wasn't going to refuse a good shag.

"Tell me what you want." He says, "I need to hear you say it."

"You - I want you. If that's okay?"

Vyvyan can't help the smile on his face. Just being in Rick's presence even when he was sad makes him happy and feel strangely at home. "Don't be a prick all your life, Rick. Of course it's okay."

"Good. You on top then, and as hard as you can. I want it hard. I need to feel.."

"If that's what you want." 

It had taken them years to get to this point - for him to finally get Rick in his bed, and part of Vyvyan wonders if this is a punishment. Punishment for what, exactly, he isn't sure, coz he'd done all manner of things to Rick he's not proud of. Now Rick wants him when he's at his lowest ebb. 

That's the only reason they do this.

Vyvyan is being used as a distraction from grief, but then, better to be a distraction than a hindrance. As for the occasional doubts that he's doing another bad thing by doing it.. he chases those thoughts away, reminding himself that he'd never done anything to Rick in bed that he wasn't firmly instructed to do.

He knows they both want this.

Vyvyan also realises that this is the first time they're about to do it when he is totally stone-cold sober, and if he didn't fancy the stupid git half as much as he did then he would stop this right now, for good. Put an end to it. Before its too late. There was no excuse for it then, and there's less excuse for it now, and he hates that he can't stop it when he feels Rick start to grind on him, rock hard in his grubby, tight pants.

He's not sure when his hatred had merged with desire, but here he is yet again, hard and desperate for anything Rick is willing to give and take from him. He's not even sure if he still hates him - if he ever did, or whether he actually hated himself.

This isn't a new revelation - Vyvyan had always hated himself, to some extent, so the rush of hot blood to his cheeks and pressure in the back of his throat is familiar. He swallows, gags on his guilt, and it's normal. Self-loathing is a small price to pay in exchange for his loneliness.

Rick pulls him up by the hair to drag his pyjama top off, kissing him frantically, clawing it down his back and both arms. Vyvyan shuts his eyes and hates himself even more.

He wants it to end - this bursting, all-consuming desire, though he's not sure if he'd rather fuck or die at this point. He wants sleep and he needs Rick to be okay and get through this so they could try and patch together something real from this mess. In his dreams - in his good dreams, at least, not his nightmares - they're still chasing each other around the house. Not for a fight. In his dreams, he finally catches Rick and Rick catches him right back - they catch each other, and then they fall into bed and everything is fine in the world.

Rick struggles with the cord in his pyjamas, and then he starts to cry. Vyvyan wants to take him in his arms and hold him, smash his face in and scream at him, and he waits in the dark for some sort of flippant explanation as Rick battles through the tears and tries to speak.

"Fuck me!" Rick begs in choked-back sobs.

It sounds like _fuck._ It could be _help._ Vyvyan would do it either way. "Okay. Come here." He says. Words mean so little and too much.

He begins to lose all track of time as his focuses his attention on Rick. He's buried in the sensation of the now-warm touch of his body against his own and shifts against him, seeking more friction, his cock grinding in small movements against his hip. Rick responds and inches over so they can rub on each other through their pants. It's only when Rick leans forward to kiss him - their faces pressing together and the transfer of wetness on his cheek, that Vyvyan knows he can't do this - can't go through with it. Not this time.

"I can't." He admits, cringing at how empty his voice comes out. "I can't shag you like this when you're crying."

"Please.. I'm not. I'm not crying! Vyvyan, I'm not a baby!"

"Stop it. You're getting all your horrible snot all over me too!"

"Fine. Fine I'll stop." Rick clumsily dismounts, wiping his nose on his sleeve. "It's fine if you don't want me. No one does. No one wants me.."

"Yeah well I'm not bloody surprised!"

"No one wants me, or cares about me. I'm nothing! And now I have nothing and no one and nobody! I don't even have any parents!"

"I don't have any parents either," he says, sitting up, placing his palm gently on Rick's back as he's shoved angrily away.

"You have your mother."

"Yeah, thanks for that." He huffs. "And a fat lot of good she is. You’re lucky.. you were lucky.."

"Lucky?! How dare you!? Get off me!" Rick yells, so Vyvyan does. "This isn't about you, Vyvyan! Not everything is about _you!_ Despite what you care to believe, the world and it's entire contents doesn't revolve around you," Rick continues to scream at him. "I'm the one that's an orphan! At least your parents are still alive. You have Mike, and even Neil likes you more than he likes me. I'm the one that's got no one. I'm the one that's got nothing! I'm the one that's alone!!"

Rick shoves him again, hard by the shoulders and Vyvyan shoves back so Rick grabs his arms and digs his nails in. Vyvyan wants to punch him now probably more than he's ever wanted but this isn't the time. Rick needs to vent and get it out of his system, so he lets him and falls back into bed, getting Rick into a strong hold so he can't lash out any further - it definitely isn't a hug.

"Why don't you hit me? Why? I want you to hit me. Hurt me, go on! It's the only thing you're good for and you can't even do that!"

"Yeah, well I would," Vyvyan says, purposely lowering his voice, "but it's no fun when you're too much of a poof to fight back." Rick hides his face at this and there's what feels like a bucket load of tears unleashed on his chest, warm and wet with Rick's breathing.

"I hate you." Rick says, his little sobs softer too. "I really do hate you so much, Vyv,"

"I know," he replies, "I know. It's okay." He doesn't know what else to say so he keeps Rick there until the tears subside, pressed against his chest, arms and legs wrapped around him and still, not moving until Rick's heart rate slows and he's sure that he's asleep. 

"I hate you too," he whispers in the wisp of Rick's fringe. "You're stupid and you're bratty and you're childish and you're selfish and you're wrong! Coz you're not alone, Rick. And you don't have nothing. You have me."

Obviously there's no reply but it doesn't matter. That was only the rehearsal. Vyvyan will say it again tomorrow when they wake up, after they both have a good nights sleep.


	19. Bored Games.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Slightly inspired by Richie and Eddie in the Bottom episode Culture. I was going to give this to them but Rick and Vyvyan would totally do this!
> 
> Short and sweet. Hope you like x

"Knew you were gonna do that," huffs Vyvyan from the sofa, "was obvious. Boring!"

There's an air of smugness behind his voice that makes Rick tut under his breath. He doesn't know why he's even wasting his time on this stupid game in the first place - stupid according to Vyvyan, that is. 

Although it's nice to spend a Saturday doing something cultural and intelligent for a change, Rick isn't really a fan of chess either. 

Chess is too complicated, he’s not too sure of the rules, and having Vyvyan as his opponent, under any circumstances, isn't a good idea, but Vyvyan hadn't even bothered to tear himself away from the telly for this; he was far more animated during snakes and ladders earlier, especially when he'd won. Vyvyan is surprisingly good at board games and that makes this particular one, in a word, insufferable.

_Boring!_

The word causes cracks to appear in Rick's normally cool facade. It makes him want to scream at the vague and uninterested punk until he understands basic human emotion. How is it that one innocently spoken word from Vyvyan could rile him up so much? Deep down Rick already knows the answer.

He's not completely stupid though. He knows Vyvyan will go above and beyond the call of duty to pick a fight with him, and very often does. And Rick always manages to delude himself into thinking it means something more than it does. However, if Vyvyan did secretly like him and enjoyed his company he had a funny way of showing it.

_Obvious, predictable and boring._

That's what Vyvyan thinks of him, and what he says about him. A lot.

He wants desperately to wipe the smug smile from his face this time. And Vyvyan _is_ smiling, Rick knows he is even though he can't see. He wants to shut him up, blind those piercing eyes that read him so easily, like a book with no words.

He huffs too, ridding himself of those thoughts. He has to think tactics here. "You could come and join me y'know? Play the game properly at the table instead of being such a spaz. Come and sit down. So I can see your face whilst I kick your ass." It sounds better than he'd rehearsed it, lots better, and he clamps the giggle over his mouth as Vyvyan shoots up from the sofa and glares.

"I beg your bloody pardon!"

The expression on his face is brilliant, priceless. Vyvyan looks more angry than Rick has ever seen him as he takes a seat opposite and stares at him like the devil.

"Kick my arse, huh?"

"Yep."

"Is that a fact. You think you can win?"

"It's what I said isn't it?"

"I'd like to see you try, bum-face!"

"Oh very witty. Just play the game, fascist! You're really being boring now!" Rick stares back, waiting for Vyvyan to play along as his fingers shift over from piece to piece. He yawns and pretends to stretch, leaning back in his chair and preparing for Vyvyan to sweep the remaining legs from under it, but something isn't right: Vyvyan only leans closer.

"How d'ya like them oranges?"

"Its apples, Vyv."

"What is?"

"The saying. It's 'how do you like them apples?'"

"That's stupid."

"Yeah. Not so smart now, are you?" Rick teases, blocking Vyvyan's sorry attempt at victory once more.

"Shut up I'm concentrating!"

Rick suddenly panics. Vyvyan is now close enough to touch him, to kiss him even as he advances a pawn. Suddenly the control of the game is tipping and not in his favor.

"Your move."

"Right." Rick studies the board for so long he can't tell which pieces are his. He's starting to sweat and everything is becoming blurred but he moves what he thinks is the white knight, correctly when Vyvyan frowns and flicks it promptly off the board. "Oi! That's cheating! Vyvyan, you're a cheater! You can't do that!"

"I can. Thems the rules, Mike said so. If any of your girly bits get too close to mine then they're fair cop. You should know that, Rick. We've played this game long enough."

Oh _very_ clever!

"We certainly have, haven't we. How much longer are we going to carry on playing it then?" He asks, nervous when Vyvyan grins and aims a finger behind another chess piece, ready to disarm his defences. They don't need much help at the moment.

"However long you like. You're the one who always wants to play games."

"Then maybe I'm bored too then." Rick confesses. He leans forwards, rests his elbows on the table, pulls a scruff of tshirt towards him and kisses Vyvyan hard on the lips.

"Mmph?"

Vyvyan's hair tickles his wrists as he digs his hands in, and the warmth of lips on his grounds Rick so he can't float through the smashed ceiling with relief as much as he'd like. It feels good. So good he's seriously contemplating flinging the board out the window and never letting go.

After a few seconds he reluctantly loosens their embrace, already feeling the loss. Vyvyan still doesn't go anywhere, just wipes his mouth and sighs softly, and that, Rick has to admit, is a vast improvement on all the racket his gob usually makes.

The kiss was short, yet it had made its point: so much emotion and unsaid words are leaking out between them that Rick wonders why they hadn't played by his rules before.

"Well I wasn't expecting that," Vyvyan admits with a sheepish smile. "Nice move."

"I thought so."

Vyvyan is still grinning as Rick leans back and regains his composure. Does this change things now? Are they actually going to be honest from now on and _finally_ have this talk?

"Rick?"

"Yes Vyvyan?" He mumbles, his knees wobbly from the kiss as Vyvyan moves again and then boots him backwards to the floor.

"Checkmate."

"Oh piss off!"


	20. Bomb.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rick drops a killer metaphorical bomb, and Vyvyan is surprisingly fine with it.
> 
>  
> 
> Short FLUFFF! (I can't help it!) And long term secret relationship.
> 
> Just like to add how happy I am to find so many new fics for this fandom lately <3  
> I'll probably carry on writing them forever but it's nice to have some more canon compliant fics. They're both softies in my world :D

“Wow!"

"Uhuh."

"Fuck, you're amazing! I love you."

Rick's eyes immediately go wide and he gasps, like he hadn't expected something so pathetic and romantically brutal to spew from his gob. Vyvyan's do too. He hadn't expected Rick to say it either and his cheeks heat up instantly, flushing hotter than they are already, and if it hadn't been for the sudden lump in his throat he would have wasted no time in teasing Rick relentlessly.

That's not enough this time, though. It can't be enough. Vyvyan had never said those words to anyone in the past either - he'd never meant them before, but surely Rick deserved something more than mocking laughter or his sudden silence in exchange for that outburst. Much better to return the sentiment through a kiss instead, he thinks. He grabs Rick's skull between his sweaty palms, pausing for a second, hoping that this is enough time for the anarchist to see the pouring intent in his eyes as he brings their lips back together again. 

Their last kiss had been more necessity to shut his extremely sexy and very secret boyfriend up. Rick tends to make a lot of racket during sex, more than he usually does, and this spur of the moment session had started way after midnight. Rick immediately softens against his lips, kissing him deeper, hungrily.

And this kiss feels different, almost like it's the beginning of something else. A lifetime of something elses, if Vyvyan has his way. 

With every touch, every slight, soft movement their lips make, he wills Rick to understand and hear it too: _I love you. I love you. I love you, you idiot!_

They break apart slowly and Rick is still looking - gazing down at him as their clammy fingers entwine.

"It's okay if you're not there yet, Vyv."

"Not where? I'm here aren't I?! God, you're such a girl."

"It's alright. You don't have to..."

"Don't have to do what?"

"Doesn't matter."

"Go on,"

"No honestly, it's fine. It doesn't matter."

"It does."

"Doesn't!"

"Does!"

"Does not!"

"Rick, are we seriously going to have an argument about this? Tell me what you're going on about or I'm never shagging you again, I mean it." He says, snatching his hands away and crossing his arms in a huff as Rick clumsily sits up and off of him, legs still tangled with his.

"But you can't say that, Vyvyan! That's blackmail, it's illegal! And if you think you can just kiss me to get out of having an adult and grown-up conversation then you can just bloody well fu.."

Vyvyan grabs and kisses him again anyway, until the _fear_ inside stops piercing his guts. He needs to find the bottle to say it aloud. Rick smiles that little smile that makes his stomach jolt over and the weight of him on top is crushing, forcing the air out of his lungs. "I do, y'know."

"What?"

"Love you, you bastard!"

"Ohh! I know. I know that!" Rick tuts, "I know that you love me. You don't need to tell me. That's what I've been trying to say."

"How do you know?"

"Because I know you. Why do you think I've put up with you for so long? I've always known."

"Well I know that you know, so there!"

"Well I know you know I know."

"Shut up and kiss me."

Rick does, in between his little smug half-smiles, and Vyvyan thinks maybe it isn't too much of a chore to say those words after all, so he says them once again for good measure, and again.


	21. The End?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vyvyan needs this whole thing to end before he gets too involved with Rick. He might not want it to, though.

He's huffing a little too hard on this one particular cigarette, stomping round the kitchen in a plume of circular smoke and muttered curse words, pausing every so often to kick through the skirting board as a break from his intrusive thoughts. 

Coz today is the day Vyvyan is breaking up with Rick, and although he's a bit shaky, and his heart is a bit fluttery, he’s finally ready to face the music.

And what insufferable music it is!

"Turn that bastard off, you bastard!" He bellows up the stairs. There's no reply except for Cliff's and for once Vyvyan is glad of it - even more proof that he's about to do the right thing. He adds _astronomically bad taste in music_ to Rick's long and ever growing list of cons.

He grinds the cigarette out on the carpet, exhaling a last, long stream of nerve-settling nicotine. He shouldn't even be calling this a break-up since they aren't actually dating, should he? It had only been a few weeks - three and a half if he really must count them. They hadn’t made it official, even remotely, so surely there's no need to panic.

Rick belonged to him in the bedroom, of that there was no doubt, and that's a definite _pro,_ Vyvyan grins.

In bed, Rick was happy to hand over all control and Vyvyan was more than happy to take it. But that was all it was. It worked better that way and that was more than fine with him - with the both of them. There was nothing more to it than that. 

No needy commitment. No unnecessary relationship. No disgustingly soppy feelings. Just sex.

They were merely having some pretty frequent and fucking fantastic orgasms at the same time, in the same room, in the same bed and on top of each other. All the benefits of ownership without the headache of constant maintenance. Sooner or later it was bound to come to an end. Rick still annoyed the crap out of him so they could never have had a future. He puts that point on the list of _cons_ but doesn't know why it's a bad thing.

The last person in the world Vyvyan needs to end up with is someone as boring and as whiny and as downright wrong for him as Rick is, he tells himself again, and he doesn't need the wimpy git tying him down and cramping his style. He doesn't want anything like that at all, so he needs this to end, and quick.

Simply humping the living daylights out of each other in the dark - without exchanging even a word sometimes, should mean there’s no logical reason why he should feel the need to tell Rick to bugger off. But Rick is starting to get under his skin - leave his mark both physically and mentally, and Vyvyan is way too afraid to admit that he might like it. 

When he began to hope that Rick would stick around longer, and Rick got all flustered like he did and made his silly excuses and left, it actually started to hurt. 

Fuck! It really hurt!

Vyvyan had never felt such an odd feeling like it. 

That was how he knew it was time to let go.

"Rick can you come here for a second? I need to.. need you to, um.. Rick?" _Too damned polite!_ the alarmed voice in his head warns, _you don't want him to think you've gone all soft on him, do you? Or maybe you have, is that it? Soppy bastard!_

"Rick!" He yells again, interrupting the devil hamster on his shoulder. He has to do this now. Right now, this second. This is a good idea. _It IS!_ It's now or never, coz he hadn't been this sober and serious for a long time and didn't intend on being ever again. "Oi! Get your bony little bottom out the bath and down here NOW!"

"All right! I heard you the first time. Give me chance. Blimey!"

He glances up at the first sound of footsteps. Rick is hurtling towards him, hands shoved in the pockets of his dressing gown and pressed tight against his body to stop the cold draught from getting to all the delicious naked warmth inside. His hair is a drippy mess like the rest of him, and when their eyes meet, Rick grins a hint of a knowing smirk because they're alone in this part of the house and they're safe if they want to continue to smile at each other like idiots - which Vyvyan really shouldn't want to do. 

Rick's eyes are shining mischievously, the soft dimples in his cheeks making Vyvyan want to vomit, though not for the reasons they used to. Another con. He gulps and swallows roughly when Rick lands on the bottom step before him with a thump.

"Hi,"

"Hey, bogey-bum!" Vyvyan smiles back and then frowns at himself. Not a very promising start..

Rick doesn't even care about the insult. 

"Missed you." 

"You.. what?"

"Last night. You never made it to bed and I missed you."

"You did?"

"Yeah," Rick snorts and laughs, "Course! Did you fall asleep on the sofa or something?"

"Yeah, must have.."

"Oh. Okay. So you want to come to my room tonight? I like it better than yours. Yours scares me. And it wasn't so bad that last time was it?"

Vyvyan is unsure of the sound he makes but he'd very much prefer to have no memory of that heated night right now. It was far from being the greatest shag they'd ever had: Rick's bedroom was always freezing - they rarely got fully undressed. There were too many booby traps that he hadn't got around to dismantling. The bed springs made such a racket he had to stop halfway through and oil them, and he was pretty sure he still had friction burns on his knees from doing it on the bare floorboards. Hardly worth thinking about so vividly, but Vyvyan is thinking about it anyway.

After the brief, blinding flash of pleasure like a clap of thunder in his bones, he'd led sprawled on Rick's chest, panting and settling into the soft, alien feeling of blissful peace. "That was kinda good," he'd said, not even caring in that moment how stupidly obvious he sounded. He'd allowed the glow of contentment to show on his face before it could be stopped and watched those unearthly blue, beautiful eyes of Rick's as they flicked over him. He'd witnessed every second of Rick's girlish, doe eyed expression, and then even more miraculously, returned it.

Another con.

Like magic there was someone there in his arms, fitting comfortably like he was meant to be there, and despite all of Rick's gangly long limbs and sharp elbows they just fit.

Vyvyan had buried his face in the curve of Rick's neck, breathing him in and wishing this would last, and that was bad. Really bad. He'd missed him too.

_Dangerous territory!_ his brain would cry out, and _you're getting too close!_ But he didn't care. He simply nestled closer, pulled Rick tighter against him 'for warmth,' tangled fingers in those ridiculous braids and let himself feel truly happy for the first time since he could remember.

__Then Rick had told him to leave._ _

__"Is everything all right, Vyv?"_ _

__Rick's concerned voice snaps him back to the present. This time he doesn't answer._ _

__That morning he'd woken up to a pounding head, a fuzzy mouth, empty bottle in hand and what he could only describe as grief spiking sharply through his body in a way he'd never felt before. It wasn't like his soul seemed to shrivel up with a sense of emptiness and indescribable longing without Rick._ _

__It wasn't like his chest constricted painfully and ached just by being in his presence here at the bottom of the stairs.._ _

__No. It really wasn't like that._ _

__He'd tried to convince himself that it was a one-off, that feeling. That he wouldn't lie with Rick again if he could, given the chance. That lie had lasted all of three hours before he found himself daydreaming._ _

__"Want to watch the television for a bit? I'll let you be in charge of channels? What's wrong? You look..." Rick pouts and it's sickening. "Oh God, I know that look. You're ending this, aren't you? But whhy? Why, Vyvyan?! What did I do wrong? I thought we were good!"_ _

__Stupid Rick, with his stupid telepathic, idiotic brain and stupid empty sad eyes. Now what was he supposed to do?!_ _

__It's as if everything Vyvyan had planned on saying is being rewound and forced back down his throat in one gulp. A simple "No," is all that makes it out, yet it seems to ease some of Rick's wrought tension. "Don't pee your big girls trousers! I was just thinking.. It's nothing. Go on, we can watch telly."_ _

__Mike and Neil are upstairs. They've each had supper and it's nearly nine o’clock. Vyvyan had been putting this off all day, so where's the harm in putting it off a bit longer? He still has time to think things through and wonder if he's making the correct decision. Rick makes him think all manner of crazy thoughts like that, and that is simply not on!_ _

__Another con._ _

__Rick sits a little further away from him than he usually does when they're alone, so Vyvyan grabs him by the knot of his dressing gown, sliding him across the sofa and smack bang into his thigh._ _

__Rick tuts but doesn't move. "What was that for?"_ _

__"You were doing it wrong."_ _

__"Better?"_ _

__"Better." He says, reaching to pull Rick's face down hard.__

____His mind is racing when Rick pulls back, looking him in the eye, smiling his stupid little fucking smile. Vyvyan wants to remember every detail of this kiss if it's going to be the last, and Christ, there's so much. Every breath, every sigh, every submissive whimper, the feel of Rick's skin under his hands - hands that couldn't decide where they wanted to punch or touch Rick everywhere._ _ _ _

__

__He's still staring when they settle down in front of the television. Rick wriggles closer and turns his attention to it, leaning his head lightly on his shoulder as if everything is fine._ _

__

__"Do you still want to meet me after college tomorrow?" Rick asks, _cuddling_ him close._ _

__

__Pro?_ _

__

__Con?_ _

__

__Vyvyan isn't sure anymore._ _

__

__"No! Why would I want to do that?" He yells, "why would I ever want to meet you after college? Why would I ever want to be seen dead in a public place with you!? What, so we can walk home together holding hands like a right pair of girls!"_ _

__

__"No." Rick says, yawning softly, "I've never held your hand in my life," his attention never strays from the screen, "and I don't intend to now. Although we can, if you like?"_ _

__

__"Don't push it."_ _

__

__"Suit yourself. Thought you wanted to go to the new arcade and beat me at Space Invaders, that's all. Honestly, you've got a memory like a sieve, Vyv, and I've got a purse full of change that says you can't."_ _

__

__"Oh. Yeah. Well that does sound like fun.."_ _

__

__"I thought so."_ _

__

__Vyvyan sits still and lets Rick sling a leg over his knee, thinking he'll wait one more day to end it after he'd cleaned Rick out completely. Or perhaps he'd give it til the end of the week.._ _

__


	22. Measuring Up*

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rick is doing a little experiment in his room after his bath and isn't prepared for any spectators.
> 
> Vyvyan doesn't mind Rick's.. little problem.. at all.
> 
>  
> 
> Pre-relationship/enemies to friends to lovers/* for smut.

"Shit! Sorry, I didn't know you were.. bloody hell, Rick, fuck!" Vyvyan gasps, standing still in the doorway of Rick's bedroom, staring. Rick is staring back.

"Do you want to turn around please! Or better still, bugger off! What are you even doing here? Don't you have better things to do than spy on us after a bath, pervert!"

Rick screams and tells him to turn around again and cover his eyes. Vyvyan doesn't so much as ignore it as fail to hear it. He's far too distracted by the sight in front of him. 

"I just wanted to borrow your.. doesn't matter.." He doesn't know exactly what he's meant to say, and doesn't remember what it is that he was planning on 'borrowing' from Rick, but he does know that this is probably the biggest mistake of his life, barging in here like this without a warning, especially considering Rick is literally bollock naked and had been drying the top half of himself when he'd walked through the door. Now he'll never be able to drink this image out of his head. 

As if he needed a further shove down the rabbit hole of his already pretty huge Rick obsession! 

Fuck!

Fucking bastard!

Fucking gorgeous, naked bastard!

Rick doesn't speak, which is unusual for him. His face is ghost-white, his hands still clasping his genitals in a sorry attempt to hide what Vyvyan has already seen, in detail. Full frontal. Entire nudity that Rick is clearly horrendously embarrassed and angry about. Vyvyan gulps and swallows, takes it all in, takes a step forwards as Rick takes one back.

"Don't come any closer or I'll.." 

"You'll what?"

Rick looks around for something to arm himself with and, to Vyvyan's amusement, picks up Mike's metal tape measure off the bed, holding out the few measly inches at him like a dueling sword. 

"What you gonna do, Rick, _measure_ me?" He grins, "I've already done that, and mine was a lot bigger than yours. Yours is tiny!"

"Shut up it isn't! It isn't tiny, exactly. It's just a little bit below average according to an article in Cosmopolitan."

"Thought you didn't read that. You just looked at the pictures.."

"Why am I even still talking to you? Get out!" Rick yells.

"How long have we known each other for?" Vyvyan asks, trying to stay calm - well, as 'calm' as can be expected: Rick _is_ still completely nude, after all.

Wow..

It wouldn't be a great idea to start drooling all over him at this point. He wants to apologise again, properly, but he doesn't quite know how, or why. 

"T-three years, suppose.." Rick stutters and stumbles.

"And how long have we lived together?"

"T..two years, nearly."

"Exactly! Do you think I care if I see you in the nip? All four of us are blokes, and we all have to share a bathroom and change our clothes every now and then.. Sometimes we have to be naked and accidents.. happen. I'm sorry for not knocking, all right. I thought you were in the bath and I.. I just didn't think."

"Oh you didn't think?" Rick mocks, the words spat from gritted teeth, his hand still holding out the tape measure, the other grasping for the towel he'd been too slow at covering himself with when Vyvyan had walked in and ruined absolutely everything! "And what were you thinking when you were about to creep inside my room and steal from me? Did you think about that?"

"No. I wasn't - was only borrowing.." Vyvyan mumbles, his throat dry and getting ever dryer. "Look, will you just cover yourself up properly for Christ sake! I can't concentrate when you're standing there holding your standard issue, perfectly adequate sized cock in your hand!"

Rick can't process this. Vyvyan did see it - see him.

And he isn't making fun of him, or the size of his..

He'd never shown anyone before, not ever - never had the opportunity. He wouldn't mind if it was some stunning, super girly, but not another boy! Never another boy!

 

That sort of behavior wasn't expected of strictly platonic housemates, was it? And now all of this stupid _Vyvyan thing,_ or whatever it was that had been brewing between them for the last few months, is totally ruined forever! The teasing must still be to come, he thinks. Vyvyan wouldn't let him live it down, and why would he? He had all the right in the world to tease him for his rather short.. misgivings. "Why are you still looking at me? Take a photo, it lasts longer! You like what you see or something?"

Yes. "No!"

"Then what then?" Rick wraps the towel around his waist and sits on his bed, chest heaving, head in a spin. 

"Nothing. I won't do it again, okay? I'll knock. I'll wear a blindfold. I'll pour bleach in my eyes. Jesus, I didn't realise you had such a stick up your arse about nudity, Rick."

"Not nudity, Vyvyan. You!" Rick snarls, glaring at him, "I didn't want you to see. Not you. Never you!"

"Shut your whining! We all have todgers, some bigger than others.. but it ain't my fault you decided to parade about the place waving yours around is it? Oi! What's that supposed to mean? Why not me? Why do you have such a problem with me seeing your little trouser maggot, Rick?"

"You've just answered your own question! Get on with it then." Rick huffs, preparing himself for the worst. 

"Get on with what?"

"You know," 

"I don't know." 

Rick sighs, not looking him in the eye, and Vyvyan suddenly realises this is him in defence mode: Rick is expecting a physical fight - or an argument, maybe both.

"The size of your.. big girls not-so-dangly bits.. doesn't matter to me," he shrugs, "why would it? I'm not gonna say anything. Who cares if SPG isn't the smallest 'member' of the household. Not me, that's who."

"Oh just.. go away!"

"No, I'm having too much fun. Why do you think it matters to me? Or to anyone? You can't control it, can you? You didn't choose it. Do you know how many times I was picked on at school coz I have red hair? A lot! Ended up shaving my head."

"You'd look really weird being bald." Rick sniffs and giggles.

"Yeah. Looked ever weirder as a seven year old."

"You can sit, if you want? But be nice!" Rick offers, patting the bed.

"So what, we're mates now just coz I accidentally seen your cock?"

"No - well, yes. We can be friends, if you like?" Vyvyan pulls a face but sits. Rick is struggling to talk, and think, and breathe. Maybe they could get along. Maybe Vyvyan had changed. Maybe things between them could be different after all.

"Show me again." 

"What? No!"

"Go on, please. I won't laugh."

"Don't be ridiculous!"

"Go on. Give us that."

Vyvyan snatches at the towel and Rick squeals and wrestles him away, not quite ready to believe that he won't be laughed at when Vyvyan sees just how small it is up close, but Vyvyan's rough palm keeps on sliding up his leg and he's starting to lose control of his bare body's reactions, and before he can even begin to stop daydreaming, Vyvyan has his hand inside the towel and is touching it. The first person ever to touch it, except him. "What.. Vyvyan, what are you doing?"

"Seeing for myself. If you're not gonna show me then I'll take the practical." Vyvyan slides his fingers around the length and tugs slowly, twists up and down and watches the soft flesh rising and hardening fully in his hand. There's definitely nothing wrong with Rick like this, except for maybe how much he's turning Vyvyan on.

"So what's your diagnosis then, doctor?"

So Rick does want this - so much so he's _flirting_ with him - which they could probably bypass at this stage seeing as Vyvyan is more than willing to make, and watch, him come. "Thought you didn't fancy me. Didn't you say?"

"I don't. I don't fancy you!"

"Yeah, looks like it. How's that feel? Want it harder, like this?" 

No. "Yes!" 

Rick squirms against the mattress and grabs his shoulder, their faces inches apart, Rick's cheeks flushing darker, and Vyvyan carries on masturbating him until he's panting like a fish out of water at each hard grind of his wrist.

"Mmm _holy shit_ Vyv! Maybe I fancy you a little bit, yeah? People can change, can't they? Mmh yeah this is good!"

"Yeah people change. So maybe I fancy you a bit too." Vyvyan's not sure how they got here but it'd been a hell of a long way round. It feels good. Rick feels more than good and so hard and amazing in his grip, and all too soon he finds himself leaning down to kiss him, hot liquid spurting over his fist again and again with each one of his strokes as Rick's soft moans of ecstasy echo down his throat.

Before Rick knows it he's climbing on Vyvyan's lap, dazed and still kissing him, both Vyvyan's hands on his bum letting go to deal with the zip of his jeans.

"It's good, this," Vyvyan groans as Rick's sloppy mouth finds the sweet spot on his neck, "suppose it kind of works out for the best this way. It ain't the size that counts, Rick, it's what you do with it. And at least when you're shagging me it's not gunna hurt."

"I might take it easy on you," Rick tuts, breathes and kisses him again, taking over unfastening his jeans and sliding his hand down his pants, "for the first time anyway, since we're friends now and all that, but I'm not promising anything. Let's see shall we."


End file.
